I just remember looking at Julie and seeing the fear in her eyes. She was looking for answers and I couldn’t give any... I felt so helpless
Stillbirth trauma led to launch of charity
Although his big sister died in their mother’s womb 13 years before he was born, seven-year-old Leon Morrison now points to the brightest star in the sky and says: “Look, there’s Erin.”
Julie Morrison and husband Bryan had been bursting with love and anticipation for their first baby – the girl they named Erin long before her due date.
Like most expectant parents, they wondered whose features she’d inherit, whether she’d have her mummy’s cheerful disposition, and how proud they’d feel on her first day at school.
In the latter stages of pregnancy, Julie began attending for weekly scans to monitor her baby’s slow growth.
At 37 weeks, Julie became concerned at her baby’s reduced level of movement. Taking her mum’s advice, she had a soak in the bath.
But the following morning, Julie detected no movement at all. When she arrived at Glasgow Royal Infirmary for her routine scan, she knew instinctively that something was wrong.
The radiographer scanned Julie’s tummy for what felt like an age, before calling a consultant, who scanned again before saying: “I’m really sorry, but we can’t find any heartbeat there.”
Said Bryan: “I remember looking at Julie and seeing the fear in her eyes. She was looking for answers from me, and I couldn’t give any. I felt helpless.”
The midwife who’d cared for Julie throughout her pregnancy took the couple to a side room, before explaining she’d need to give her a tablet and send them home, with instructions to return in two days.
From that side room, they called their parents. For Julie’s mum, who’d lost her own first baby, Charlene, to still birth, it was the cruellest case of history repeating itself.
“My mum was screaming down the phone,” said Julie. “She knew what the last step was, and what we were to go through.”
On leaving the hospital, the couple, numb with shock, stepped into the lift to a smiling couple carrying a new-born baby in a car seat.
Julie’s mum was waiting for them when they arrived back at their Coatbridge home, where they’d lovingly decorated Erin’s pink nursery, complete with teddies, cot and pram.
With nothing to do but sleep and cry, Julie clung on to a fragment of hope that the consultant had got it wrong. But she was later to learn that the movement she was still feeling was her lost baby being rocked in her waters.
“Even up until Julie was giving birth, we just wanted that baby to come out crying,” said Bryan. “You just can’t let go of