Western Daily Press (Saturday)
Somewhere over the rainbow: Growing up gay in Olly’s hometown
For Pride month Janet Hughes talked to LGBTQ people in the West Country town where the Years & Years frontman grew up
IT’S hard to believe now that flamboyant, eloquent It’s a Sin star Olly Alexander struggled with his sexuality growing up.
As a poster boy for LGBTQ rights he looks as if he has always been confident and happy in his own skin and during one Pride weekend told a Glastonbury Festival audience to “shove a rainbow in fear’s face”.
But it wasn’t always that way and in a BBC 3 documentary Growing Up Gay he admitted that he tried to hide his homosexuality while living in the small market town of Coleford in the Forest of Dean.
The Years and Years frontman says he was bullied at St John’s Primary School in Coleford and Monmouth Comprehensive School and said a lack of any inclusive sex or relationship education left him ignorant of why he was feeling like he did.
Being called a ‘fag’ or ‘poof’, led to a few physical fights and the word ‘gay’ was always used in a negative way.
It led to bulimia, self-harm and a lack of confidence and he left the Forest as a young teen without ever daring to come out.
Although he went on to achieve the kind of fame and fortune he could only dream about while writing songs at home in Coleford, he once admitted that the memories are so strong that driving home used to leave him feeling physically sick.
So what is it like growing up as an LGBTQ person in Coleford? We spoke to a few people about their experiences.
JADE Ellis, 45, formerly known as Adrian, is bisexual and gender fluid. After coming out five years ago, life could not be sweeter for Jade who spent decades covering up how they really felt for fear of being ostracised in their home town of Coleford.
Born and bred in the Forest town, Jade is deeply rooted in the place Olly dreamed of escaping.
And although most people have been accepting of the change, police became involved after a local woman objected to their lifestyle.
“They said I was a pervert and what I was doing was illegal,” said Jade.
“I’ve even had someone threaten to beat me up, which was a very scary situation, and I used to worry about it when I was walking through Coleford.”
Unlike Olly, Jade was not bullied in school but wishes there was more education so people do not feel abnormal.
“I was in school in the late ’80s and early ’90s which were the Section 28 years,” they said.
“I didn’t get bullied but I kept myself to myself and didn’t mix.
“I was quiet and didn’t understand my own feelings. Section 28 did so much damage that I grew up thinking the word gay was an insult.”
Jade had a crush on one of the boys in another class and the first sexual experience was with a male.
Jade said: “At the time Coleford was a backward little place, it felt wrong to express those feelings. I felt like I should be manly and be in a relationship with a woman.”
Although they did not experience direct homophobia, comments like “that’s not right” or “we don’t want to see that kind of thing on TV” cut deep. But eventually Jade was encouraged out of the closet and celebrated with a legal name change.
Jade, who wears androgynous clothes and is picking up the courage to wear make-up in public, has had dalliances with men but their last long-term relationship was with a woman.
“Since I’ve come out, most people have been wonderful,” said Jade. “I work in a very manly environment so there were a couple of little jokes at first, but everyone has been great.
“I play for a men’s skittle team which is a very male environment but I have been surprised how much support I have had from them.”
The biggest confidence boost has been going to a local pole fitness studio,
Mizz Twisted Cherry Studios in Ross-on-Wye, where Jade works on a burlesque drag act.
But the nervousness is still there and in a few weeks Jade will have to walk through the town centre on their way to a drag performance.
“I’m a bit nervous about walking about dressed like SuperGirl,” said Jade.
“It will be fine if people know me because I’ve found that if people get to know somebody personally, it changes perceptions, but some people who don’t know me may be shocked. Coleford is not bad overall and is more open-minded than people give it credit for, but not so much that I wouldn’t worry about walking across town in my costume.”
ASHLEY Putland, 34, is a former jockey, hairdresser and Tesco manager. Ashley and Olly are only four years apart and had similar but different experiences.
Ashley went to school in London until the age of 16 but didn’t actually come out until his parents left the capital for sleepy little Coleford which has fewer than 10,000 people.
“Olly and I came from different ends of the spectrum, “he said.
“I grew up in London and went to a multicultural school which you would think would be more open to diversity. Yet my experiences of school were very similar to his. I always knew I was gay and kissed a boy in the school toilets, but it was such a massive taboo that I always denied it.
“Everything was very hush-hush and secret and I kept thinking there was something wrong with me.
“There was a boy who was badly beaten up for being gay so it was a very dark time for me.”
When he was training as a jockey he pretended to like girls so he could protect himself and was still dating women when his parents moved to the Forest of Dean in his teens.
“I had such mixed emotions, I didn’t understand what was going
on or who I was,” he said. “I came from London but I did not know what Pride was, I never knew what a gay man or woman was, I never knew anything about transgender.”
When he watched a TV programme about somebody coming out to their parents, the penny finally dropped.
“I looked at my mum and dad and thought ‘that’s me. How am I going to tell them?’. Everything suddenly clicked into place. There was nothing wrong with me, I had the answers to why I was like I was.”
Ironically it was when he joined the Changes Hair Salon in the centre of Coleford that he started to let his creative, flamboyant and a feminine side shine through.
At first he came out as bisexual because it was easier on ex-girlfriends and parents who were worried but accepting, but eventually came out as gay. He went on to become a well-known drag queen, Miss Felicia, running drag nights at the Westgate Hotel in Gloucester.
But he knows not everybody feels the same way and at one time he ran a monthly lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) night to provide somewhere safe to meet in the heart of the Forest.
“I have to say I had a very welcoming reception from everybody in the Forest of Dean,” he said.
“Once or twice kids shouted ‘faggot’ at me in the street but I also had a boy telling them to leave me alone because I was a nice guy.
“It probably helped that I was working in salons locally. People knew me and I worked with a great group of girls. If anybody had mentioned anything, they would have been the first to sort them out.
“Compared to going to school in London, I never really had any bad experiences in Coleford because of my sexuality, but talking to people I understand how hard it would have been for Olly.”
He has now moved to Cardiff which has a thriving scene but says he still gets the odd comment, such as a customer who accused him of being “less of a man”.
“It’s still happening,” he said, referring to an horrific homophobic attack in Liverpool.
“People think everything is OK but only a couple of weeks ago a 19-yearold was beaten to a pulp outside a pub. It was really horrendous.
“We have come a long way in terms of equality but this shows we have some way to go.”
BECKY O’Grady, 23, came out as bisexual but now identifies as pansexual.
“I was bulled a lot when I was younger,” said Becky, who went to the former Lakers Comprehensive School in Coleford.
“People kept calling me a lesbian. At that time I couldn’t understand why they were saying those things about me because I didn’t know myself and I never gave them any indication. I tried to keep myself to myself but I’ll never forget somebody carving ‘Becky O’Grady is a lesbian’ into a desk. Thankfully I was never physically bullied but it was very unpleasant.
“Now I can look back and laugh at the fact that they knew I liked women before I did.”
Even if she had understood what was going on, Becky says the stigma attached to being gay as a young person growing up in Coleford would have stopped her confiding in anybody.
Ashley was the first person she came out to because he had been cutting her hair for years and she knew he did drag. He persuaded her that coming out was the only way to live her life free of any apologies or shame and her mum has been been very supportive, even creating a Pride window display in the charity shop where she works in the town where Olly went to school.
Although they have never met, Olly helped too.
“I look up to Olly so much,” she said.
“It seems insane that someone like him is a Coleford lad. I really respect him for trying to make things better for other people and although things are not perfect, to think such an iconic LGBTQ figurehead comes from a rural place like this is pretty amazing.”
Becky works in Go Outdoors in Gloucestershire and says visible signs such as seeing gay couples openly holding hands on the streets and getting involved in Gloucester Pride has helped her stand up for who she is.
“Coleford can be a close-minded place and although there’s probably less bullying than there was years ago, it hasn’t gone away,” said Becky.
“I still know people who are nervous of coming out.”
Her current partner is a man. “People assume because you are with someone from the opposite gender you are straight but I’m not, I’m pansexual,” she explained.
“That means I am attracted to somebody regardless of what parts they have. As long as they are the right person, that’s it.”
And she tells people not to be so wary of giving offence that they avoid the subject.
“As long as it’s coming from the right place and people respect my choices, I would rather people asked questions than make assumptions about my sexuality,” said Becky.