AClinical
psychologist Dr Kate Roberts, who works at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in King’s Lynn and has just led a study into the psychological impact for parents of children with food allergy, says: “You are certainly not alone: managing a child with food allergy can be really challenging, and it’s normal that you might feel worried or anxious at times.
“We don’t yet know quite how many parents of children with food allergy struggle with anxiety, but in our recent survey of 105 parents, 81% reported clinically significant worry, 42% met the clinical cut-off for PTSS (post-traumatic stress syndrome), and 39% reported moderate to extremely severe anxiety.
“While it’s normal to feel anxious, if you’re feeling like this a lot of the time, and especially as you mention this is controlling your life, it could be helpful to reach out for more support.
“I’d encourage you to speak to your GP to find out what support for anxiety is available locally.
“Psychological support
might
Dr Kate Roberts
include approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which is often recommended for anxiety. This could allow you space to think about and understand your fears, and to use this to find ways to work towards helping your anxiety while managing your son’s allergy.
“If you have any questions about managing your child’s allergy, speak to a professional involved in your child’s care (eg. GP, paediatrician, or allergy clinic). However, our research tells us that many parents feel very anxious even when they feel confident in knowing how to manage their child’s allergy.
“Finally, some parents may find it helpful to speak to other parents or people who are living with allergies themselves.
“If you’d like to find out more about allergies or be directed to support groups, Allergy UK ( allergyuk. org) and the Anaphylaxis Campaign (anaphylaxis.org.uk) are good.
“For more information about anxiety, a helpful starting point is the ‘anxiety, fear and panic’ page on the NHS website.”
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frightened enough.
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Pushy parents may get upset by their child’s failure, and/or have a warped perception of what failure actually is, says Dr Meheux.
They may also want children their child is competing against to fail, or be ill on the day of a competition.
She suggests: “If you’re unsure if you’re pushy, you could not put your child in competitive activities, and put them in activities where individuality is encouraged more.”
Dr Melernie Meheux important, it’s whether they’re enjoying it, Dr Ben-Ali points out.
“Being good at something doesn’t automatically mean it brings joy,” she stresses. “The real focus should be on what truly brings joy rather than where the talent lies.
“It’s beneficial for children to try out and explore many things, to be open to new experiences, and for the parent to encourage this, trusting the child to lead the way.”
If you were unable to fulfil your own life expectations so you’re trying to live them through your child, it could be a sign you’re a pushy parent, warns Dr Meheux.
“If you always wanted to play piano so you get your child to do it, remember it’s not too late to try it yourself,” she advises. “Look at what are your own dreams and what are the dreams your child has.
“Being pushy can impact children’s self-esteem, confidence and independence. If you don’t allow children to be autonomous, they don’t know how to function in the world as adults.
“It’s getting the balance right – encouraging and motivating children, but also listening, appraising them and looking for their strengths.”