I’d much rather dip out of?

about me washing their hair with too much soap or too little, followed by discussions over water temperature.

Once that’s out the way, Thomas likes to work on removing paint from the wall with a sponge and Emma sprays me with water from an empty bottle. Although initially amusing, the laughter runs out when I realise the bathroom is soaked and I’ll be drying it out with a lot of hand towels.

The pair of them will then argue over bath toys, until I step in to stop them drowning each other. Then there’s an endless discussion over who pulls out the plug, until Emma goes for it, upsetting Thomas.

Finally, I remove two fighting children from the water to spend the next half hour persuading them to let me dry their hair.

Unfortunately, bath night promised so much but gives so little and I really can’t wait for the days when they can hop in a shower and clean themselves.

For now, I need to live with a little guilt over not enjoying it like my former work mate, even if there was some suspicion he wanted an early dart to play in a five-a-side league.