MODERN FAMILY
I hope you don’t mind me writing to you, but there is something that has been bothering me.
Obviously I am little bit older than the average letter writer who posts to the North Pole at this time of year but it has come to my attention that some children are starting to question your existence at an age when they should be dreaming about your sleigh dashing through the snow and Rudolph leading the charge through the night skies on Christmas Eve.
I know you’re up to your eyes (in presents) right now but here are my causes for concern regarding your future employment (and, indeed, existence) prospects.
Firstly I am getting pretty cheesed off with TV adverts – especially the one that shows two young brothers trying to catch their parents bringing home Christmas presents. It seems to pop up on the ad breaks every five minutes. I think your elf legal representatives should look into it.
Secondly I got really concerned when a report was sent to work showing that since 1997 more than a quarter of children (3.3m) have stopped believing in Santa Claus because of information they’ve seen about you on the internet.
The report claims the average age they stop believing has plummeted from almost nine years old in their parents’ childhood to six-years-11-months today.
If such a rate of reduction continued, gulp, well, you’ll appreciate my concern that you will be getting a very different kind of sack 44 years from now.
And as I’m sure you’re only too aware job prospects for a 1,700-year-old magical children’s present provider, who is maybe not in the best shape (sorry, I know those mince pies are always so tempting), are not that numerous. You could say the same for the flying reindeers, although maybe Rudolph could get a job as a temporary traffic light?
It is sad that a result of social media, targeted advertising, and the “truth” of Santa being just a quick Google search away, the opportunities for youngsters to stumble across the reality of Santa Claus online, whether by accident or design, are more abundant now than ever before.
In our house you will already know that son senior is at an age where he has put two and two together but I am sure you are as happy as me that he is still happily going along with the magic because of his younger brother.
Son junior is definitely a firm believer. When I walked in on a discussion with a friend on the very subject he dismissed any concerns after some contemplation with the very valid argument that it was no way it could be his father because there is no way he would get up in the middle of the night because he is “far too lazy”. Makes perfect sense.
It is not about the presents and the materialism that has ramroaded its way into Christmas festivities – I am sure you will agree it is about keeping the magic and the innocence going for as long as you can.
Yours sincerely,