THEY SAID WHAT?

“Mother of all thunderstorms now over London. Oh boy! This utterly insane.. I’ve never seen a storm with such frequent lightning in my life”

– BBC weatherman Tomasz

Schafernaker.

“To negotiate in an effective way, you must know what the other side wants. A negotiation can’t be a game of hide-and-seek”

– Michel Barnier, the EU’s chief Brexit negotiator chides the UK over its approach to the talks.

“Another election? Oh joy, it’s good to be back”

– Andrew Marr on his return to the screen after undergoing an operation to remove a cancerous tumour. “If you’re a kid, if your dad does do something relatively interesting, you still find it incredibly boring and naff. Children roll their eyes at everything you do, so I’ve got that to look forward to”

– Entertainer and author David Walliams, pictured, who says his five-year-old son Alfred does not much like his books.

“My kids were happy to see me, but my daughter Iona said I smelled like rotten cheese”

– TV adventurer Ben Fogle on returning from his Everest expedition.

“We will be making an unscheduled stop at Newbury where, and I apologise, we will be picking up some drunken and noisy people”

– Announcement made on a Penzance to Paddington train.

“Does anybody ever get a tattoo when they are not drunk?”

– Actress Dame Helen Mirren.

“The hardest thing about getting old is all my good friends are dead. My problem, really, is I don’t remember I’m 70. I don’t really know what 70-year-old people are supposed to do. So I just do my own thing”

– Ozzy Osbourne, who is 69.