MODERN FAMILY

THERE is no doubt about the validity of the midwife mantra that “breast is best”.

The act of nursing your baby is bond-forming, nurturing, inexpensive and the health benefits are all positive.

But it is not always easy, and that is something mothers are not always told.

Which is why it is nice to see some sense being injected into the breastfeeding debate as the Royal College of Midwives updates its advice to members that women who decide not to breastfeed their child must be respected for their choice.

They also want to see new mothers being given appropriate support if they make an informed decision to bottle feed.

Breastfeeding is something that is pushed to all mothers from the moment you first meet a healthcare official in the early stages of pregnancy.

They are keen to let you know about all the benefits, but the fact that it can be extremely difficult and not always possible is almost brushed under the carpet.

This means that if you have difficulties, you often feel like you are the worst mother in the world because it feels like no-one is finding it as hard as you are.

In the days after the birth of my first son, I would frantically phone my mum at all hours of the day and night because he just wouldn’t stop crying.

She, quite rightly, told me that it was because he was hungry and there would be no harm in just giving him a bottle to settle him.

Even her story about putting rusks into my bottle when I was a baby and it “did me no harm” fell on deaf ears.

Reaching for the “just in case” bottle that had been stored in the cupboard would have been a complete failure in my eyes. So, I carried on and, over time, it did eventually get easier.

But there was not much support, certainly not the level you got beforehand with the wealth of parenting classes, tours of the hospital and pre-natal visits and support.

After the birth, which didn’t go to the elaborate plan discussed in the parenting class anyway, there was a level of support, but it was much more difficult to find.

Second time round was totally different as I had the confidence and the experience to say that if my son was hungry and I couldn’t feed him, he would get a bottle.

The UK has one of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world. A recent report found just over 34% of babies are receiving breast milk at six months, compared with 62.5% in Sweden.

Maybe putting women at the centre of their own care and listening to what they are saying will help improve those rates for the advantage of everyone.