The not so fantasy land of Noddy

I HAVE this idea for a series of unbelievably ridiculous fantasy books for children based on a character called Nutty Noddy, a toff who has inherited vast wealth acquired by his landowning parents from their tenants, and his similarly privately-educated, work-shy and super-wealthy friends.

Their aim is to always waste as much money as possible on the maddest and most unjustifiable and unbelievable projects.

In their first adventure they decide to build the biggest aircraft carrier ever and, here’s the rub, not have any aircraft on it, but to sail the world, mainly of course in the tropics, moving from port to port causing drunken havoc wherever they go only dispersed by massive on-board parties to break the boredom.

The final twist in the story, and probably the most nutty, is that because the first ship serves no real function, Noddy and his friends decide to build a second one as a way of definitely wasting more money and, as they say, “just in case the first one gets hit by returning space debris, or just sinks”.

In their second adventure Noddy asks how he and his friends can waste even more money than in the first.

“Let’s build our own nuclear armed submarine,” comes the suggestion.

“But, is it ridiculous and mad enough for us to waste good money upon?”

“Well, you see, this is a vessel that can disappear and go undetected at sea for months before popping up to fire missiles, mainly dodgy ones sold to us as seconds by the Americans, so just the thing for nuts like us.

“The fun bit here is that everyone will know where we are, as all our chums from abroad tell us they have underwater drones which will unobtrusively follow our every move, so we will never be lonely or out of touch. So thoughtful of them!”

On second thoughts, perhaps these stories would be just too farfetched flights of fantasy even in this world of sci-fi icons. Ah well, back to the drawing board.