Our sons never came home: The personal toll of war in Afghanistan
Our involvement in the Afghanistan conflict caused the deaths of 454 British soldiers. Almost 20 years since the operation was first launched, was it worth all the pain and suffering? Robert Harries reports
IT’S ALMOST 18 years since the British Army first sent troops into Afghanistan to fight the Taliban alongside their American allies.
They say that 9/11 changed the world, but for two families from Wales, their worlds changed when their children went to fight and never came home.
Their families’ perpetual heartbreak is the legacy of a decision to retaliate against the events of September 2001 and head into a conflict that would last longer than the Vietnam War and both World Wars.
For Sarah Adams, it’s now 3,586 days since the world changed. In two months’ time, it will have been 10 years since her son never returned home.
Her son James, like many other Welsh soldiers, died fighting for his country in Afghanistan.
In the early hours of Sunday, September 27, 2009, Private James Prosser was killed in an explosion as he was driving a Warrior vehicle in Afghanistan, 62 days after he was sent to serve there with 2nd Battalion The Royal Welsh. He was 21 years old.
Later that morning, his mother heard a knock on the door at the family home in Cwmbran.
“It was 7.45am and I was in the kitchen getting my son Josh ready to go to basketball,” Ms Adams said.
“We had heard from James on the Friday so I was actually feeling quite relaxed for the first time since he’d gone out there.
“But as soon as we heard a knock on the door, I knew. Who else would knock on the door at quarter to eight on a Sunday morning?
“When I opened it there were two men in uniform stood there. They asked for my name and if I was James’ mother. Then they told he me he had been killed.”
The anguish that filled the house on that Sunday morning has never left. Time moves on, but it doesn’t really heal. Did the pain give way, at some point, to anger, or resentment?
Ms Adams finds it difficult to express what she felt in the hours, days and months that followed, and how she still feels today.
“I don’t know what you would call it (the feeling) really. Every single day I have to deal with it.”
There are still hundreds of British troops in Afghanistan in 2019, but combat operations ceased five years ago.
The tragedy of losing her son is amplified by the fact that, according to Ms Adams, nothing has changed.
“I’m still disappointed with the way the Government are and how they deal with everything relating to the Armed Forces, be it physical injuries, or PTSD, they just don’t care, and that’s not changed since 2009.
“Charities have done so much since then in raising awareness and trying to make changes, but still they (the Government) forget and still they don’t look after the people who are suffering – it’s left to charities to deal with.
“I don’t know if I feel anger, disappointment, or what. James wanted to be a soldier and he wanted to go to Afghanistan. I just tried to support him in any way that I could. The hardest thing is asking – what did I lose James for?
“He gave up everything, and look what we’ve done over there. When I look at it now, we’ve not achieved anything, really. The Taliban are still in Afghanistan. All we’ve done is interfered and made the situation worse.
“James didn’t achieve anything because we shouldn’t have been there anyway. That is heartbreaking.”
Ms Adams’ frustrations with the powers that be in this country have not dimmed over the last decade. There may be a different political party in power, but her attitude is the same. If anything, it’s got worse, she says.
“Tony Blair should not be allowed a voice and has a lot to answer for. I hold him, George Bush and the Taliban responsible for James’ death.
“At the moment I would say any government, no matter who is in power, is not respecting the Armed Forces in the way that they deserve to be respected.
“When you look at young people you want to protect them. James was my child and I would not want anyone to go through what he had to endure and what we have to endure now, every day.
“We have always had an amazing
Armed Forces in this country and we should be proud of them all. The downfall is the Government – they send our soldiers to these conflicts but they need more support, and they need all the support they can get when they come back.
“If the government cannot provide that they shouldn’t send people to these war zones.
“Everything should be done to make sure that absolutely everything is taken care of, and they have failed spectacularly.”
In the final month that James was in Afghanistan, he earned less than £1,300 for risking his life on a daily basis. His mother says he had to pay insurance costs, tax and National Insurance contributions, among other things, while he was serving. He was young and single, but other soldiers would have families and children of their own to support at home.
“Why are they having to pay tax and insurance when they are out there fighting for the country? They should not have to worry about anything else while they’re there. It’s just ridiculous, and nothing has changed.”
In 2012, three years after her son’s death, Ms Adams flew to Afghanistan, to the place where James died in hospital.
“I went on my own, with three people from the Ministry of Defence, and we were there a whole day.
“I just wanted to see where James closed his eyes for the last time.”
Ms Adams thinks about her son every day, and every July, leading through to September, the grief and sense of longing intensifies.
“I can’t really tell you how I’ve got to 10 years without him. He’s always with me.
“James had a lovely group of friends and they’ve all been great but sometimes it’s hard to see them growing up, doing things that James never got the chance to do. He’s never going to get married, he’s never going to have children.
“On July 27 I know it will be 62 days until the 10-year anniversary of his death, and I’m dreading that countdown. It’s something I go through every year.
“I’m an ambassador for ABF The Soldiers’ Charity, who have been great and do so much for the people who serve this country, so we will do something on September 27 along with friends and family.
“You try to be brave for those around you but it’s so hard sometimes. James was such a good boy.”
The Ministry of Defence was approached for comment.
We have always had an amazing Armed Forces in this country and we should be proud of them all. The downfall is the Government
SARAH ADAMS