‘I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT KNOCK’
WIDOW RELIVES WAR HEARTBREAK
“I WILL never forget that knock,” mum Wendy John recalls more than 10 years on from when her soldier husband, Dean, died.
She convinced herself it was an accident and that he hadn’t died and left their lives forever.
Much of the day was a blur. Back then, she was a mum of three children and was just looking forward to Dean coming home from Afghanistan so they could all be together as a family.
“Ten years has gone so quickly but it’s so clear in my mind. When they knocked on my door to tell me, I remember everything.
“They confirmed I was Mrs John. “I thought it would have been an accident. I did not think that would be the case that he had died.
“The rest was a blur, I had friends come and sit with me, the neighbours came.
“My mum came over, and Dean’s mum did.”
She added: “When I had to tell the children it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, it’s awful.
“I was quite emotional telling them, I just said ‘Daddy’s been in an accident and has gone to heaven.’
“I did not explain to them at first it was a bomb that killed him.
“As the days went on I did explain the full story as they would have seen everything on TV.
“I left the detail and told them he would not be coming home, it was the only way I could explain. “It’s tough.”
With Remembrance Sunday, thoughts flow back to Dean, who was just 25 when he was killed while serving with the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers, with the 1st The Queen’s Dragoon Guards, known as the Welsh Cavalry, on March 15, 2009.
Wendy said it was her children who helped her to get through the experience.
“I go through every day for them, I owe it to Dean and hope he is proud,” she said.
“If I did not have my family it would have been so much harder.
“My mum has been my rock and on the anniversary of his death she has been there for me.”
Wendy, who lives in Velindre, Port Talbot, added: “My sons are lovely; they are proper gentlemen, if they turn out to be half the man he was then I will have done a good job.
“I am really proud of them and they are doing well in their careers – Dylan, 17, is doing drama, Michael Sheen has been to see one of his shows, and Harvey, 16, has got an apprenticeship.
“Like I said, if I did not have the children it would have been so different, I live every day for them and keep his memory alive.
“I do not want them not to know how special he was.
“It’s important to keep remembering him for them – he was just so kind, he was so special, he was amazing, he was a proper family man. He would always put us first.
“Harvey looks like him and Dylan has his ways.
“They are all like him; they all have his kind soul. It’s nice they are following in his footsteps.”
She is also mum to Ethan, 12, and now Jacob, who is four, with her partner of six years.
Her two eldest children have ruled out a career in the forces.
“Harvey is doing mechanics like his dad – but not in the army. They have already told me they won’t go in,” she said.
“I would support them if they did. “But they have said they wouldn’t be – they are happy.
“They are following the path they are going on.”
She said Dean will forever be in her thoughts and she will ensure their children will never forget him. “I miss him every day,” she said. “But I know he wanted me to be happy.
“We do the Daffodil Walk every year and it falls on the anniversary of his death next March, next year, and it will be the 10th next year – it gives you something to look forward to. It’s nice to give something back to Scotty’s Little Soldiers.”
Wendy said she will always support the Royal British Legion’s Poppy Appeal throughout her life because of the support they have given to her and her family.
“When we first lost Dean we went on holiday thanks to the Legion, and met Sam Warburton and we did the Poppy Appeal in Cardiff,” she said.
“It means a lot to me.
“I used to support the appeal before I lost Dean, it’s so important as it supports the veterans and the homeless.
“The boys know that and they support the appeal as well.
“When I can no longer do the parade they will be doing it.”
She added: “We do stuff in his memory and on the anniversary of his death and his birthday – it’s bittersweet.
“This Sunday the QDG (Queen’s Dragoon Guards) are playing against legends like Lee Trundle (Swansea City) and my two oldest are going to Llandarcy to lay a wreath.”