‘There’s birth anxiety anyway, but giving birth in a pandemic gives it an additional level’
THE arrival of a new baby into a family is an exhilarating but daunting time for parents.
This year many parents have had to negotiate pregnancies, births, and the nervous first few months of a child’s life while under lockdown.
Support networks of family and friends who would normally gather around a family have been forced to keep their distance, some perhaps lucky enough to catch a brief glimpse of the new arrival through a window.
On March 23, less than two weeks before her due date, educational psychologist Dr Hannah Williams was lying on a mattress on the floor when she read about lockdown measures coming into place the following day.
Hannah, now 30, and her partner, Jamie Tilley, were due to complete the sale of their house and were preparing to move to Saundersfoot that week. The couple had to move their entire lives during the first week of lockdown.
“We managed to get our bedroom sorted out because that’s where I was going to give birth,” Hannah said. “We got the birth pool delivered to the house.”
On April 7 Hannah went into labour and two midwives came to her house to assist with the birth.
“The midwives wore full PPE during the one appointment I had and the birth,” Hannah said. “Great in terms of infection control but it also made the situation feel a lot more clinical during a very intimate time.”
Although the birth went well, after an hour the placenta had not passed and Hannah had to be taken into hospital where it was surgically removed.
Jamie had to follow the ambulance with newborn Robert James Tilley – known to the family as Bruce – in the passenger seat.
“We were trying to avoid hospital so it’s like everything we didn’t want to happen,” Hannah said. “I had an epidural and they surgically removed it so Jamie could stay with Bruce for that bit but once I had transferred to the labour ward he had to leave.
“That was hard because you want to spend that time together. It was quite lonely being in that ward on your own as a first-time mum.”
After one overnight stay Hannah was allowed to return home to Jamie and his two sons from a previous relationship who move between two households.
The couple then began the process of parenting their son in unfamiliar circumstances.
In the first few weeks the couple didn’t have a physical appointment with a midwife or a health visitor and couldn’t have any visits from family or friends.
And, at three months old, Bruce has never been held by any of his grandparents.
“I can see that they are really eager and it’s hard,” Hannah said.
“My nan can’t see. I have been over to visit with social distancing but she can’t see so she’s not really benefited from that. She can hear him. When she calls I put him on loud speaker so she can hear him but she’s missing out on that contact as well. I feel for them. We have our time with him at home but it’s a shame that they have missed out on that time with him.
“He’s bigger now and that time is not going to come back is it?
“There’s a level of anxiety with giving birth anyway but giving birth in a pandemic gives it an additional level.”
Vicky Morris-Evans and her husband Gavin Evans were anxiously awaiting the due date of their first child when lockdown restrictions came into place.
Vicky, from Cwm near Ebbw Vale, had to alter her expectations of what her labour would be like just days beforehand.
“He was a very long-awaited one,” Vicky, 36, said. “He’s an IVF baby so he’s very special and he’s the first grandchild to both mothers.
“I finished work on the Tuesday and it was the Monday after that when we went in to lockdown.
“It was a bit of a shock and panic as we didn’t know what what was happening. And because it was an IVF pregnancy they didn’t want me to go over so they said I’d have to be induced.
“That was a bit scary because then we found out partners wouldn’t be allowed to come into the hospital so I would have to go in on my own.”
Vicky said her partner had to drop her off at the main entrance of Nevill Hall Hospital, Abergavenny, where she met midwives.
The following morning she went into labour with Gavin present as her birthing partner. Theo Anthony John Evans was born at 8am on Sunday, March 29, and the family returned home the following day.
“It was totally different to what we thought it would be because we thought there would be people there to meet us,” Vicky said.
“Two days later we drove down to my mother’s house so she could see him through the window. My husband’s mother saw him through the patio doors.
“It was awful. It was heartbreaking. Given that it was supposed to be such a special time I do feel like we’ve been robbed of a lot things. It has been nearly three months now and he has had barely any visitors and no cwtches. So it’s been really hard.”
Vicky said her parents selfisolated for two weeks in order to be able to hold their grandchild.
The measures meant Theo was able to be held by his grandparents but the contact was still extremely limited.
“A couple of weeks later they came up because they had self-isolated,” Vicky said.
“They came in, changed, wore a mask, and we let them hold him. That was about four or five weeks after he was born and that was it then for a while.”
Vicky said that was the only contact Theo had with his grandparents until the Welsh Government began to allow two households to meet outside.
Since then they have been meeting some family members in gardens while maintaining distancing measures.
When Gavin had to return to work the couple decided to begin allowing grandparents to hold Theo in order to give Vicky further support.
She said the family maintain the best hygiene and isolation practices they can.
“It’s hard knowing what to do for right or wrong,” she said.
“They could stop holdingW him but then I feel like we’re taking so much away from them. I feel like we haven’t had many cases around here and they are doing all that they should be doing.
“I just felt by the end of it that we needed that extra support really. Being isolated in a house on your own with a baby has been so hard and emotionally draining especially when he’s not sleeping.”
She added: “We’re okay now. We’re still up and down waiting for it to end but I feel restrictions are getting eased.
“You do worry though that there will be that second spike.”