THEY SAID WHAT?

“I think this - at best - was clumsy and cowardly but, to be honest with you, if this is genuinely his view, I think we’re almost entering a Kafkaesque alternative reality where the Government set the rules, we follow them, they don’t like the results and they then deny setting the rules and blame the people that were trying to do their best. It is hugely frustrating”

- Mark Adams, chief executive of the charity Community Integrated Care, after Boris Johnson suggested “too many” care homes did not properly follow procedures during the coronavirus pandemic.

“This is NHS Test and Trace working precisely as intended. Three pubs shut so that others can be open”

- Health Secretary Matt Hancock as three pubs closed after drinkers tested positive for Covid-19 following the reopening of bars on Saturday.

“I gathered together a group of likely candidates in the form of friends, same age as me, and I said ‘look, you know, we’re going to be Silver Swans’ - they all howled with laughter and said ‘you must be joking”’

- The Duchess of Cornwall, above, says she has been keeping fit during the lockdown with ballet

workouts.

“I know it’s rather inane but it was just an attempt to add some cheese-based levity to some of the darker corners of Twitter, which there seem to be an abundance of at the minute”

- Cheese fan Joe Bangles, whose real name is Alan Pender, has spent the last three months on Twitter asking celebrities to name their favourite cheese.