MORNING SERIAL
SHE didn’t even remember that I had been there on three days out of five.
Something seemed to be happening, and happening rather swiftly.
of the time, Mum forgot almost everything that had gone before, except things she had learned at school and stories from her earlier life, many of which she recounted repeatedly, forgetting that she had already told them to me.
She seemed terribly confused as well as forgetful – she couldn’t help it.
I knew I had to be firm and assertive with her regarding my boundaries. At the same time, I could see that I had to support her in preserving whatever orderliness of mind she had available.
I suggested that a memory board might help her to stay with the programme.
I knew that her sudden decline had something to do with the considerable turbulence that seemed to revolve around Gerald.
Now she didn’t emote about him to me, but spoke in a matter-of-fact way that made it clear that he was the decision maker in the relationship and that he was a fixture.
Mum saw herself as independent again – the elder of the family who didn’t need me to play a parental role with her, yet we were all under Gerald’s thumb because she completely submitted to him and expected me not to argue with her.
I was in danger of finding myself back in my place: a child, seen and not heard.
Audrey was able to clean and do a bit of shopping but, ultimately, the responsibility for Mum’s wellbeing sat on my shoulders, whether I wanted that or not.
I hoped I had learned my lesson over the recent months: I didn’t want to sacrifice myself and my life any longer. But I couldn’t abandon her if she was losing her mind.
More than anything, I felt I ought to keep an eye on the Gerald situation.
All this thinking and worrying filled my time and left me exhausted.
> Scrabble in the Afternoon by Biddy Wells is published by Parthian at £8.99.
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