Think powerfully of peace as it can end wars

I cried a lot last Sunday. For me, the air hung heavy and as I followed the brass band through our village, the music set me off. The church was packed and the congregation was surprisingly young.

Remembrance Sunday seems more poignant because it is in November. Wearing warm clothes reminded me that so many millions never had that chance during the hell of war, as they faced the cruel winter weather.

But my thoughts today are not on war. There was something around Remembrance Sunday that I found rare. It was the collective air of respect.

Respect. It seems to be a quality that been devalued. Our doctors and teachers are abused, our firefighters attacked. Some parents don’t respect their children and certainly many children – whatever their background, don’t respect their parents.

But Remembrance Sunday was different. Respect was there en masse.

Every colour, age and nationality stood stock still during the memorial service. Where I was, young children who might have preferred to play on their Xbox stood respectfully, no shifting of feet or whispering. They looked at the elders who in turn, teary eyed, watched the wreaths and with them memories of savage times. People of all ages joined in hymns, mouthing the words to For Those in Peril and Oh God Our Help in Ages Past.

There is talk of how long we go on remembering these people. I think we should go on remembering them until the world is entirely peaceful. And as that’s unlikely to happen at the moment, we have to keep reminding the human race that their actions have consequences.

On Sunday, November 11 the respect was palpable and I was heartened, relieved, that it was fresh and alive and my faith in human nature was restored. And while we have a way to go for world peace, I felt the sense of respect for those who fought for freedom has grown, and that can only be a good thing.

Now we need to get respect in bed with forgiveness. Because there’s not a lot of point in holding commemorations across the world if we can’t forgive. Watching President FrankWalter Steinmeier placing a wreath at London’s Cenotaph on behalf of Germany was an historic act of reconciliation.

The Lord’s Prayer says “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”.

For those of us who ever say the prayer, it is often said by rote. How many of us actually apply it to our daily lives? Now I’m not standing in a pulpit when I say this. I’m reflecting on my own life, looking at other situations where things could change so much if we learn to be big enough to forgive.

Jo Berry’s father Sir Anthony Berry was killed when IRA bomber Patrick Magee planted bombs in the Grand Hotel, Brighton, during the Tory party conference in 1984.

Jo decided to dedicate her life to conflict resolution and met Magee face-to-face in

2000 when he was released from jail. They have become friends, and work together on peace plans. She has forgiven Magee.

Steven Drury has put in a good word for Steven Perrett at the parole board. An amazing act of forgiveness. Perrett killed Steven’s daughter Claire by injecting her with an overdose of drugs. “Out of disability can come opportunity,” says Steven, a Christian lawyer. “I’m not mad at him. I don’t blame him. I’m trying to avoid other people following him – he can become a reformer.”

Forgiveness can be difficult. But if you don’t forgive, you rot, you become no better than the situation that’s caused you hatred or unhappiness. The strain of constant judgement (because that’s what it is) and subsequent revenge is debilitating. It takes you away from peace, peace of mind, peace in the world. It solves nothing, brings no resolution.

My world was rocked by something years ago. The situation could have destroyed me and our family. I realised I was going down with the perpetrator of the situation, destroyed by bitterness and hatred. I became ill, crazy. Then I tried a new tactic. Every day I sat for a few moments and thought of that situation.

I held it in love. I thanked it for the lessons I was learning from it. For weeks, months, it was like swallowing a house brick. Then one day I did it and felt utterly liberated, happy, restored. And now I know how vital forgiveness is. The energy of that action moved our entire family on, healed us – it no longer controls us.

I’m convinced the power of thought can change anything. Your thoughts are your deeds – think good stuff and good stuff will come back to you. Try it and see. Understand and respect your own power. And use it wisely. Let’s make Remembrance Day a thing of the past for the next generations. Because if enough of us think powerfully of peace I have no doubt we can end wars. We can but try.

There’s not a lot of point in holding commemorations if we can’t forgive. Watching President Frank-Walter Steinmeier placing a wreath was an historic act of reconciliation