Happy with change – but looking forward to a pint

AS the coils of lockdown are gradually relaxed, I am pretty sure that we will look back on the last few months as the time our world changed forever.

The Coronavirus crisis will change the way we think, the way we view government, how and when we travel, who we meet and where we work, of course. And then there will be changes to our own little personal worlds; what we wear, what we eat, and even what we say.

Some lockdown lingo has already become part of common parlance. The most uttered workplace words of the last few months are obviously “You’re on mute”, followed closely by “My camera isn’t working,” “Thanks for joining” and “Can you hear me?”

These terms are the new normal and have replaced those of the old normal such as “Come in and take a seat,” “Nice to meet you” and “Would you like a cup of coffee.” Now that meetings don’t include drinks I have been deprived of the snap judgements I like to make about people based on their choice of drink. “I’ll just have water,” means “I’m dull”, “Do you have any fruit tea,” equals “I’m awkward” and “Black coffee, strong, no sugar,” usually means the guest would much rather be doing this in the pub.

In the new normal meetings I can only judge people by the backgrounds their homes provide, which is probably a more reliable pointer to be honest and suits me down to the ground because I am nosy. Guitars, books, posters, paintings and wallpaper tell you an awful lot more about people than whether they drink mint tea.

I’ve met people’s children and pets, as well as their partners, husbands and wives. It’s all very fascinating.

I was in a meeting the other day with one colleague, who had to break off to answer the door. “I think that might be my new guitar,” he explained before returning beaming with a guitar-sized parcel. He then proceeded to tear open the package, unleash his prize, and then give me a personal tour of his frankly very impressive guitar collection. All that, the meeting ran under time, and I feel I know him much better.

Next week a colleague has promised to introduce me to his new puppy when we meet, and that’s before I tell him I have a resident spaniel under my desk at all times. Meetings will never be the same again.

I doubt work dress codes will be either. I have dozens of work shirts hanging in the cupboard, several suits, and many many ties. I’d abandoned the tie long before Covid, but now haven’t worn a shirt with a collar for weeks, haven’t touched the suits, and have rarely worn shoes. I expect shoes will be required in the new normal work environment, but I don’t expect to be buying many more suits.

Judging by the amount of emails I get from PR companies the most written sentence of lockdown is “I hope you are well and keeping safe in these unprecedented times,” while “Keep Safe” has replaced “Kind Regards” as the most popular signoff, and I’ve a nasty feeling that might be around for a while. Social distancing has done for “Give us a hug,” and even “High five” but I dare say they will be back before long.

With a bit of luck so will some other of my favourite sayings. I can’t wait to say “I’m taking the day off to watch the cricket,” “Where shall we go on holiday?” and it would be lovely to say to Mrs Martin: “Shall we go out tonight?” or best of all: “Fancy a pint?”.