Wokingham Wildlife Watch: New species alert

Your attention is called to the arrival of new species to be spotted in the town during renovations and limited pavement access.

JATH

This is an abbreviation for, ”joined at the hip”.

May be two young lovers or two doddery pensioners, are unable to walk unless stuck together and obstructing the pavement to block access to others

TWO CALLING BIRDS

Two young females, unable to walk unless using their phones. May be calling each other but insist on parallel progress down the street to prevent others from using it. Both talk at once.

DUMMY MUMMY

Always found pushing a large imposing buggy, usually with her stomach as her hands are busy with phone and coffee and alongside a similar Mummy. Great blocking skills.

PSYCHO CYCLIST

Riding cycle along the footpath, apparently oblivious to the first four letters of that word.

LESSER SCOOTERER

Child on a scooter with attendant parent, necessitating entire use of pavement zone and inaccessibility to others

GREATER SCOOTERER

Mobility scooter user, wears blinkers to enable tunnel vision and unawareness of other pavement users

ALL SPECIES:

HAUNT: Rose Street, where they can obstruct most successfully, especially by gazing into boutique window for a prolonged period before resuming painfully slow progress.

FOOD: Fast food sometimes, coffee in paper cups mostly, to allow one hand to be engaged in this activity so unavailable for steering its personal spaceblocking device Name and address supplied