Family’s praise for hospice’s help after dad dies from cancer
A BINFIELD man has praised the counselling support from Thames Hospice, after his Dad died.
Tom Page has been receiving emotional support from the hospice’s Patient and Family Support Team since his father, Keith, passed away in September 2019 from prostate cancer.
He said the hospice team were “always at the end of the phone”, during his father’s illness.
Keith was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2003, which was treated successfully. But it returned again 12 years later and spread to other areas of his body.
He said: “Dad’s main symptom was tiredness; other than some side effects from chemotherapy I don’t believe he was ever really in much pain. I think he was lucky in that element. But I do think he suffered more mentally rather than physically throughout it all.”
In August 2019, Keith was admitted to hospital for 10 days after his health declined.
“It became clear the complications were occurring as my Dad’s body was getting weaker and in fact, we didn’t have much time left,” Tom said.
“We became determined to get Dad home, so that his last days, however many there were, would be spent at the house he had lived in for more than 25 years. Without Thames Hospice this couldn’t have happened.”
With the help of the hospice, Keith was brought home to be with his wife, Sue and three other children; Nick, Chris and Will.
“The hospice provided us with a bed and all the equipment we would need in order to be able to care for Dad at home,” Tom said. “The Community Team visited us regularly and were always at the end of the phone if we needed them.
“My Dad passed away in the morning of September 10, 2019 surrounded by all his family.
“After informing the team at the hospice, they came out to the house, dressed Dad in his best pyjamas and set him out in the bed; he really looked at peace.
“This allowed us to spend special time with him before the undertakers arrived,” Tom said.
Shortly after, Tom started one-onone counselling after being offered bereavement support.
“I wanted to give myself the best possible chance to be able to deal with what had happened,” Tom explained. “The counselling support I received from the hospice was very important, and I am not sure I would be in the place that I am now without it.
“I have had my own mental health challenges in the past, so I knew it was important to get help.”
Tom said the counsellor he worked with was brilliant, and helped him work through his grief.
“I found it very hard to speak to my family at the time about my feelings as I didn’t want to upset them,” Tom said. “One sentence the counsellor said to me stuck with me – ‘no one can be any sadder than they are now, so speak to them’.”
The sessions took place at the hospice, which Tom said felt “warm” and “inviting”, as opposed to a “sterile” hospital.
Due to his positive experience, Tom’s three other brothers all decided to have counselling, something that they may not have otherwise done.
He is now encouraging others to speak about their grief and emotions.
“I want to share my story so people of my age who have gone through a similar situation might have something to relate to,” he said. “There isn’t a manual about grief, and in my opinion, it certainly isn’t how it is portrayed on TV. I think mental health for males around my age is still somewhat of a taboo. We don’t talk.
“I want to let people know that it is okay to seek help, and by getting support it could be one of the best things you do. I know from my own experience, having counselling has put me in a better place to have the tools to deal with losing my Dad.”
He also hopes to raise awareness about the hospice services.
“Thames Hospice gives families like mine the opportunity to spend the last days with their loved ones without having to worry about anything,” he said.
“The services and support they provide can make even the worst situation that little bit better. The experience I have been through would have been vastly different without the support of the hospice.” � For more information, visit: www.thameshospice.org.uk