Abuse is abuse, work is work

Clearly, Councillors Kerr and Shepherd-DuBey are unable ‘to let it go’. And now more letters on The White Ribbon issue.

I feel compelled to respond, most particularly because Ms ShepherdDuBey had the temerity on Full council evening, to patronisingly say “You just don’t understand” over and over again.

The other councillors and I (because my children and I suffered up-skirting, chronic inappropriate language, sexist jokes, sexual, physical and emotional abuse, full-blown beatings, broken teeth, head bashed open, strangled) DO understand. It is Ms ShepherdDuBey and Ms Kerr who do not!

They CHOOSE to focus on the words ‘Domestic Abuse’ to imply that the Council is not getting to grips with White Ribbon’s aims. Indeed Ms Kerr states that she wishes to be clear that ‘violence against women and girls is not the same as domestic abuse’. Isn’t it?

The words White Ribbon do not infer abuse. Domestic doesn’t infer Abuse so why would either be used.

Treating someone badly, cruelly, mentally, violently, sexually, physically, emotionally, unfairly, offensively (words), insultingly, in a way that is harmful, morally wrong, unjust and corrupt especially for his/ her advantage or pleasure, in or out of school, the street, the home is ABUSE

The Council recognises abuse is a complex social problem that impacts everyone across society and since March 2021 has gathered together key statutory and voluntary organisations that help victims, survivors AND male and female perpetrators.

WBC has agreed to a Wokingham Abuse Strategy recognising the important work of the Violence Against Women and Girls Agenda.

We have Cranston offering support for LGBT+ victims. We have the Wokingham Community Safety Partnership. WBC is working closely with the charity Kaleidoscopic UK. WBC is working closely with White Ribbon. All this work IS about getting men (women) to take responsibility.

Ms Shepherd-Dubey wishes the Council to prove the work is value for public money and WBC is determined not to waste further monies duplicating the huge amount of work that has already been done and is ongoing.

Not to burst anyone’s bubble but the work being done by all the above institutions is actually not groundbreaking.

As far back as 1983, when abuse forced itself into my life, I learned of programmes to help victims and perpetrators. I met and talked to

Ray Wyre, now deceased, a pioneer in the treatment of offenders at the Gracewell Clinic. But thankfully, nearly 40 years on so much more has been learned, so much more is being done and offered, so much more is out in the open.

Wokingham Borough Council pledges to champion a culture of high standards by reporting abuse and supporting victims.

My children and I could certainly have done with this commitment all those years ago.

Abuse is abuse, and the work is the work, whatever title used.

Cllr Jackie Rance, Conservative councillor for Shinfield South, Wokingham