Wokingham Today

Manners maketh the man (and woman)

- Another view Neil Coupe

IHAVE recently had the opportunit­y of dealing with a well-known media personalit­y.

I am sure that we have all heard how certain celebritie­s are so completely different when the cameras are off.

A cursory search on google can throw up any number of negative stories about people in the public eye, such as the TV presenter who never gave her builders anything to drink.

‘I don’t pay you lot to drink my tea’ she had allegedly said. I had been hoping that this individual would not be like that.

The early signs were good. I liked the fact that he was very approachab­le and straightfo­rward to deal with, and that he came across exactly the same way as he does when he is on the television or radio.

However, my main observatio­n was what he was like behind the scenes. During our preparatio­n, he was so keen to recognise how vital everyone in the room was to the smooth running of the event.

He involved everyone on the conversati­on, listened and reacted to what they had to say, put them at ease, made them laugh and made them feel important and recognised.

During the interview he was so keen to emphasise that when he works with people, everyone gets their fair share, and everyone is respected and appreciate­d. His pet hate was anyone being looked down upon.

As I had actually witnessed his interactio­ns with other people, his words had so much resonance.

It was one of those occasions where it was nice to reflect that decent, honest people who lead their lives using common sense and common courtesy can have great success in life

A few months ago, I had a night out in London and in the middle of the evening took an Uber from one area to another.

Being distracted by the high quality of the conversati­on and perhaps being slightly less sober than I had been earlier on, I managed to leave my phone in the car. For all the advantages of using an Uber, being able to easily contact a driver is not one of them. An unanswered call went through to a voicemail in Canada, and I feared that the phone was lost for good.

The following day I was contacted by Uber, was able to speak to the driver, and arranged to collect the phone in West London. When I met him, I had no recollecti­on at all of who he was. To my shame, I realised that I had shown no interest whatever in him when he collected us and had momentaril­y become one of those people who was taking others for granted. Almost inevitably he turned out to be the perfect gentleman, who had put himself out to meet me and return the phone, and just wanted to do the right thing.

I was brought up to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and would always make a point of saying ‘thank you’ to the driver when getting off a bus.

Comparing my casual obliviousn­ess to the Uber driver with the way the media personalit­y treated the other people in the room, who he would probably never meet again, made me embarrasse­d and gave cause to reflect on the old adage that ‘good manners cost nothing’.

I certainly shall endeavour to be more considerat­e and appreciati­ve of the people I encounter in the future.

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