‘Our attraction was like a lightning bolt’
Romance with an old friend took Jill Mansell by surprise, and 32 years on she’s still wondering how on earth they got together…
‘He let me tease him about his terrible taste in clothes’
Will you just look at the two of us in this photo above, taken over 30 years ago? This is Cino and me when we were in our late twenties, wearing embarrassing clothes and knocking back the Liebfraumilch with friends at a charity ball held in Clifton College in Bristol. At the risk of sounding completely ancient, the entertainers were Acker Bilk, and ventriloquist Roger De Courcey with Nookie Bear…
let’s face it, as a romantic novelist, I’ve probably spent more time than most people contemplating the vagaries of love. and considering what a huge fan I am of the idea of love at first sight, it’s almost a shame this wasn’t remotely the way it happened for us. Cino and I had known each other for many years, purely as friends, and there had never been any thought that one day we might end up together. We had our own relationships, and when those broke down, we spent months being single and intermittently seeing other people. then one night we started dancing together at a club and were both as surprised as each other to experience the lightning bolt of attraction. Where had that come from, and where had it been hiding itself all these years?
so we started seeing each other, just for fun, but kept our budding relationship a secret from all our friends. they would tease us unmercifully if they found out, and there was no way anything would ever come of it – we weren’t each other’s type at all. We happily continued on like this for months, meeting up incognito, until New year’s Day, when one of my friends drove me home from a party and there, already waiting outside, was Cino...
We carried on seeing each other, only no longer in secret, and gradually I accepted that all the reasons I’d had for thinking our relationship would never last may not have been valid after all. He was nicer than I’d thought, genuinely kind and very funny. We enjoyed each other’s company and he let me tease him about his terrible taste in clothes. take another look at the photo – I still can’t quite believe I ended up with someone who once wore a black dinner jacket flecked with red, and a red bow tie. then again, I’m wearing a black dinner jacket and trousers with a gold bow tie, so what’s my excuse?
there are often obstacles preventing people from being together, but for us it was a good thing – if we’d met one night as strangers it might never have worked out at all. We’ve been together for 32 years now, and our children are grown-up. We’ve also remained happily unmarried all this time because neither of us has ever wanted to rush into anything we might regret…
Cino and I are still complete opposites. We often drive each other mad and we hardly like any of the same activities, films or tV shows, but who says couples have to share interests? I’m much happier never playing golf or watching Star Wars, thanks very much.
If you’d told me as we walked home together that night from the Clifton College ball that we’d still be together a third of a century later, I’m not sure I’d have believed you. It just goes to show – sometimes Mr absolutely No Way turns out to be Mr Right after all. w&h
Jill Mansell’s latest novel, Maybe this time (Headline), is out now.