‘It hit me just how much I was putting up with’

Robert won me back for the final time last year, but he still refused to discuss or try to resolve the problem. I saw a therapist myself and told her how sorry I felt for Robert.

She said, “I feel sorry for you.” It hit me like a 10-ton truck, just how much I was putting up with and how unfair it all was.

We limped on, with arguments now frequent. We hardly kissed. Robert flinched when I touched him, terrified it would lead somewhere he couldn’t go. I finally ended it in March and this time Robert didn’t fight back. I felt a mixture of immense sadness and huge relief, as if I’d finally broken free.

Then two months later, something extraordinary happened. A man I had worked with got in touch, confessed that he had liked me for two years and began pursuing me. We have now been dating for six months and, happily, we have a very healthy sex life. We’ve been on holiday and have discussed buying a place together – maybe even marrying. He is everything I have always wanted.

To anyone who’s unhappy in a sexless relationship, I’d say that life is too short to drift along, hoping against all odds that sex will happen “one day”. Chances are, without help, it won’t. Sex isn’t everything, but I believe it’s the glue that keeps couples together. w&h