is it time to get some “work” done? allison pearson questions if it’s better to age naturally

Our brilliant cOlumnist On iF it’s better tO age naturally

Ihave started researching cosmetic procedures. Yes, really. I never thought I’d reach the point where I’d look in the mirror and think, “Perhaps a lower face thread lift wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” But then my skin had never before slid off my jawbone and formed dumplings where my chin used to be. A kind friend calls this “a loss of definition”, but we all know what that’s code for, don’t we? Jowls.

look, i’ve always subscribed to the theory that it’s best to age naturally. i just wanted to look like the best version of me, that’s what i told myself. but jowls are a bit of a deal-breaker. if you have them, you’ll know what i mean. if you don’t have them, sorry, but you can keep your taut jawline out of it.

the truth is, it can still be hard to have an honest discussion about this stuff with other women. When a friend scoops up the wattles under her chin and sighs, “maybe i should get my neck done?” you don’t say,

“yes, i see what you mean.” you say, “i don’t know what you’re talking about. you look great. more Prosecco?”

this is partly because you’re a nice person and you’d quite like to keep your friendship. mainly it’s because there’s a strong possibility the friend will have a terrible facelift and end up like one of those veteran Hollywood stars whose beseeching eyes stare pleadingly through the immobile mask of their features. sorry, but those poor actresses don’t look youthful; they look embalmed.

i don’t know about you, but my reaction is: if that’s the facelift a hugely wealthy celebrity can afford, what on earth would my budget buy? chances are i’d end up looking like a Vacuform Halloween Hillary clinton. terrifying!

certain women who have had successful “work” done would rather not own up to it. you know they have, and they know you know they have, but no one wants to be the first to puncture the coy, defensive silence. then there are those confiding types who are happy to tell you about this amazing lithuanian dentist they’ve found who does fillers as well as fillings. secretly appalled, you sit there as they rave on about Darius, unaware that their new, fuller cheeks don’t make them look 32 again. they make them look like a hamster storing up sunflower seeds for hibernation.

that’s the problem. even with huge advances in what used to be known by the frankly horrible name of “plastic surgery”, there are a lot of bad looks out there. you go in for a lip filler treatment hoping to resemble angelina Jolie, and you come out like a stunned cod fish.

We all remember poor leslie ash, who had a botched injection that left her with a monstrously swollen pout. Her body had reacted against the liquid silicone. even so, the Men Behaving Badly star didn’t stop having botox.

millions clearly agree. the cosmetic surgery industry in the uK is now worth a staggering £3.6 billion, but the really big growth area is noninvasive treatments, such as botox and dermal fillers, which account for nine out of 10 procedures – with a worth of around £2.75 billion. thankfully, embarrassed secrecy is increasingly a thing of the past. i texted sarah, a director in financial services, to ask if she’d ever had work done. sarah was in a meeting with other senior women, but she instantly texted back a picture of herself. “i am bruised at the moment from fillers, but i’m in the office and i have to own up. What the hell! i’ve just told everyone in this meeting and they say it’s normal!”

sarah neither looks like a hamster or a tragic barbie vainly clinging on to her youth. as the French say, she is “bien dans sa peau”. Well in her skin. she’s a lovely woman in her fifties who has called a truce with time thanks to a great hairdresser, good teeth and a skilful filler specialist. she also tells me you can now have acid injected into the fat under your chin and it disappears. result!

When i was younger i was censorious about cosmetic procedures, thinking you should leave it all to nature. then i got older. you live and learn. if the best version of me needs a little help, so be it. now, if you’ll excuse me, i have to go and see a man about my jowls… w&h

“Jowls are a bit of a dealbreaker. If you have them, you’ll know what I mean”