‘Being a grandparent has reinvigorated me’

MICHELLE VICKERS, 57, from Berkshire, is the chief executive of the Head & Neck Cancer Foundation. ‘It was a real mix of emotions when my daughter Aimée told me she was pregnant. Mostly, I was delighted – she’d been with her partner Neil for years and I knew how much she wanted to be a mum. I remember when she left, my partner Brian and I looked at each other and squealed, “We’re going to be grandparents!”

But I did have a few reservations. The first was how a new addition would affect the dynamic of our family. We’ve always been so close and I was aware our comfy routine would soon completely change.

And when I started telling people, they’d all laugh. “I can’t imagine you as a granny,” they’d say, pointing to my polished nails and highlighted hair. Come to think of it, neither could I.

Because in my head, there were two types of grandmothers. The first was the traditional grandma, in the kitchen with white hair, the moralistic pivot of the family. And the second was the modern granny, connected by Facebook and the internet, but otherwise distant, doing their own thing. As someone who still worked and loved socialising, I didn’t identify with either of those ideas.

In so many ways, I loved growing older – with every year that went by, I felt braver, wiser. But for some reason, I really struggled with this new identity of “grandma”. So, I simply rejected it. Instead, I googled alternative names for “grandma” and I came across “Mimi”. I loved it – not least because it went with my name.

Since then, it’s stuck – and when Max was born in March 2020, I fell in love with him straight away. And with being a grandparent. It was like the focus shifted. It wasn’t my time any more, it was Aimée’s – and I was so happy for her.

Aimée is an excellent mum and although I have Max three days a week, I always follow her lead. And when I have him, he has my full attention. People say I can take it a bit easier, but I love being down on my hands and knees with him. He has reinvigorated me, and given me more joy than I’d imagined.’

✢ hncf.org.uk