Honesty ıs not THE BEST POLICY!

What we tell our partner may not always be true – but there’s always a good reason. Claudia Winkleman exposes the little white lies couples tell

In relationships, we sometimes say things we don’t quite mean. We’re not intentionally lying, maybe we just don’t want the argument, or maybe we just don’t want to explain. Explaining can be very strenuous. We might not want to hurt our partner’s feelings so we bat something off and hope it disappears. Think of these as white lies then, sometimes little, but other times… not. Here’s a glossary.

You’re right. I know what it sounds like. She’s standing in front of you, she’s saying, ‘Have fun!’ You can see her mouth moving and those particular words are coming out. How sweet, you think, she wants me to have fun. Uh, dude… ‘Go barmy,’ we say. ‘Let it get really wild,’ we encourage. ‘We know you’ve worked hard all week,’ we’ll argue. We’ll say you deserve a night out with your mates. We might help you get dressed, we may help you line your stomach (Sweetheart, shall I make you a bit of toast?).

What we’re actually saying is that we don’t want to be the annoying wife/ girlfriend/‘ball and chain’ who keeps you locked up indoors. Every group has one partner who’s stricter than the others, and the boys will laugh and poke fun.

‘Allowed out, are you?’ and ‘Do you need to check your watch?’ and ‘Will you have to get a permission slip if we go to a club?’ and similar questions will be asked to much hooting.

We don’t want to be that person, that ‘text me when you’re there’ and ‘please keep your tracker on’ nag. It’s not that we think that woman is wrong (if she’s that worried about something then yes, I’d say he’s probably playing around), but we don’t want the reputation. We want to be the cool girlfriend (outwardly speaking), who winks when you leave

you get back. I’ll be here waiting babe, oh, and I got a new bra. That’s what we want to be able to carry off.

What we’d like you to do is go out and slowly realise it’s just not as much fun if we’re not there. Sure, you’ll get the drinks in and have a laugh, but then, when everyone is hammered and teetering off their stools and there’s talk of the next bar or fast food, sneak off back home.

Don’t be all ‘But you said to enjoy myself!’ Yada yada yada. Yes. Up to a point. Again, that’s what we said, it’s not what we mean. Just a teeny bit of fun. No more. >>