‘BLADDER WEAKNESS killed my sex life’
Sarah Smith, 52, from Berkshire, was left demoralised by leaking until she found a solution
Ifirst experienced bladder weakness around 12 years ago. I think it was due to a combination of reasons – I’d had my son via caesarean section five years earlier, put on weight, suffered from stress, and getting older played its part too. I put up with it, wearing daily liners but, after five years, it became an everyday worry.
I had to wear really thick pads and was constantly anxious about smelling and leaking – I became miserable. I wanted to wear nice clothes, but I couldn’t because they would get damp and uncomfortable. I would panic every time I laughed, sneezed or even just moved – it took over everything.
It was especially difficult when it came to my sex life. I didn’t feel sexy, confident or feminine, plus I had to wear a pad in bed at night and I was worried about leaking. I was stressed that I was making the bed sheets smell, and didn’t want my husband, James, 51, to touch me
– I was consumed by this worry. It was demoralising. Luckily, I’ve always been open with James, who was very understanding, but he could see how badly it was affecting me.
Work was an issue too. If I had a long meeting, I was conscious of leaking, which was a real distraction. Then, two years ago, I went to Iraq for a week to do charity work for a women’s refugee camp, teaching them how to sew so they could make a living. It was an amazing opportunity, but there were no toilets – just holes in the floor. So I had to take dozens of pads with me each day and carry around used ones afterwards, as there was nowhere to dispose of them. It was really stressful.
The final straw came after a disastrous New Year’s Eve party with my friends and James. I had a shower and was getting ready but, by the time I had done my hair and make-up, my pad was soaking. I smelt of wee and felt unclean. I had to have another shower just one hour after the last one. That night, I changed my pad eight times. When it got to midnight – everyone was singing and dancing, and I held a wee in, so that I could celebrate with them – but I had leaked and I was paranoid everyone could see. I just wanted to cry.
My GP referred me to an incontinence clinic, and I did the pelvic-floor exercises they recommended for a whole year, but it didn’t make a difference for me. Then my sister told me about INNOVO shorts (£299, myinnovo.com/uk), which use electrical muscle stimulation to tone your pelvic floor for you. I wore them for 30 minutes a day, five days a week. After four weeks I didn’t need to wear pads. After 12 weeks, I felt like my old self again.
The relief of not having to wear pads is massive. I have a box of them in the kitchen that haven’t been touched for months. I don’t go to the toilet anywhere near as much, and I wore a dress recently for the first time in two years!
I’m so excited for the future – I finally feel like I have control over my body, and I am so grateful. I think women should talk about bladder weakness more – it affects so many of us and there are solutions out there.