In conversation with FRAN LITTLEWOOD

A woman juggling too many plates gives the writer the chance to explore her fantasy self

‘I wanted to write about a midlife heroine’

Fran Littlewood was a journalist and has an MA in Creative Writing. Amazing Grace Adams is her debut novel. In it, we meet Grace, a menopausal mum who abandons her car in the middle of a traffic jam and sets out on a rollercoaster of a journey across London. It is a story of life, marriage, parenthood, the ambush of age, being a woman, redemption and everything in between – and it’s brilliant.

Fran lives in North London with her husband, and has three daughters.

When it came to writing this book, I took inspiration from the other women in my life – my mum, sisters and friends – it felt like so many of us live with this simmering rage a lot of the time. There is so much pressure on women, particularly in their 40s and 50s, and it feels like it’s from all angles – that you have to be all things to all people. You might be a mother and have teenagers with hormones that are clashing with your own, but also have ageing parents. In my case, my daughter has just left for university and my dad died nine months ago – these things are difficult to manage.

Anything that men seem to do as a parent is seen as a bonus. I feel women are held to a much higher standard. My husband and I share looking after our kids and he is an amazing dad. For years, however, I did the school drop-off, but when he did it you would have thought, from the reactions he would get, that he had completed a humanitarian mission. I feel it’s just expected of women. There’s a real double standard, which feeds into the rage. And what with violence against women and girls, the microaggressions, sexual harassment – it’s all a bit much!

It was cathartic to write Grace’s character. I think she’s my fantasy self. We should all be speaking up, but unfortunately a lot of us don’t have the time. I think things will change but it’s hard to fight societal expectations.

I felt like I‘d read books about mums with babies, and coming-of-age stories, but there was a space for parents of teenage kids. That sense of loss in terms of them gradually becoming a stranger. You know it’s all part of the process, them pulling away and becoming independent, but it’s hard. It’s an emotional detachment. I thought that was worth investigating.

I’m glad people think Grace is relatable. It’s a fine line to tread, not wanting to show too much anger. I hoped that some women might be punching the air reading this book, but didn’t know if that would be the case. I tried to write compassion into it too.

Grace is in the middle of her life but I want to challenge that lazy concept of women being downtrodden. That’s not how I see it and I don’t think that’s how we are. I wanted to write about a midlife heroine. I loved writing it. It was a bit absurd at times but it was good fun.

At the time I wrote this novel the menopause and certainly the perimenopause was not being talked about as much – but I knew I wanted to tackle it head-on. When I told a few of my friends that I was going on HRT they said they were already on it. I thought, ‘Shouldn’t this have been more of a headline conversation?’ Around the time I wrote the book, women in the public eye were starting to talk about the menopause, and it felt more like a movement. I sold the book and then Davina Mccall’s documentary came out a couple of weeks later. It was that that prompted me to get my symptoms checked out. The sad thing at the moment is that some women are still being refused HRT, but I hope things will change.

I have started my next book. It will be about sibling rivalry and I need to get on with it!

✢ Amazing Grace Adams by Fran Littlewood (£14.99, HB, Michael Joseph), is out on 19 January.