YOUR HEALING HANDBOOK
Learning to trust again is possible, says our experts.
1
ACKNOWLEDGE THE BETRAYAL
‘It’s important to recognise the betrayal you’ve experienced,’ says Denise. ‘Don’t try to brush it off or minimise it. Take the time to process your feelings and work through the pain.’ This could mean writing down your experiences or even saying how you feel out loud in front of the mirror. ‘Allow yourself time to feel all the
emotions associated with the betrayal, and acknowledge they are valid and important,’ adds Danielle.
2
SEEK SUPPORT FROM OTHERS
Talk to a trusted friend, family member or mental health professional for support and guidance. ‘Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can help you feel less alone and provide perspective,’ says Danielle.
‘It helps to talk to someone who is not connected to the situation.’
Visit relate.org.uk or go to freepsychotherapynetwork.com to find a low-cost therapist
in your area.
3
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Avoid self-blame – you are not responsible for the actions of others. Engaging in activities you enjoy can help. ‘Try ones that energise you, such as exercise or socialising, or quieter
activities, such as meditation or massage,’ says Danielle. Playing songs that resonate with your betrayal as an outlet can also be beneficial, she adds.
4
START SMALL
‘It’s OK to take things slowly when it comes to trusting again – work your way up to bigger things as you feel more comfortable,’ says Denise. ‘Remember, healing takes time, and everyone’s journey is different. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work through your feelings and
begin to trust again.’
5
SET BOUNDARIES
Do you still want to keep the person who betrayed you in your life? ‘Establish clear boundaries with them, and take steps to protect yourself from future harm,’ warns Danielle. ‘This may involve limiting your contact with the person, depending on
the circumstances.’
6
TURN YOUR PAIN INTO POWER ‘Use the betrayal as energy to learn something new or improve another
aspect of your life,’ says Danielle. Always wanted to act but felt too shy? Join a local amateur dramatic group and step out of your comfort zone while in a safe and supportive environment. You could end up meeting new friends who enhance
different aspects of your life.
7
PRACTISE FORGIVENESS
This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or condoning the behaviour. ‘It means letting go of the anger and resentment so you can move forward.
Forgiveness is a process, and it may take time,’ says Denise.