‘I wanted more passion’

marina Pearson, 41, is from London. She has a son, Leo, two and a half.

Every couple knows the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever – it’s not all flowers and romantic meals. But after five years of marriage to my husband, I couldn’t help but wonder where our spark had gone…

When we met in March 2000, we were like teenagers. We’d talk late into the night and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

But after we married in November 2005, when I was 29 years old, it was like something shifted. Studying for a masters degree in music business, I was in the library all day, and we didn’t have time for date nights. It was the same every evening, not speaking as we ate a rushed meal, sitting on opposite sides of the sofa as we watched TV.

Perhaps that’s why, when I was paired up to work with a classmate, Joe*, and, while discussing a project, he leant forward and kissed me, I found myself kissing him back.

For the first time in years, I felt that nervous excitement. I pushed Joe away, but it was already too late – I’d finally found some passion, and I was hooked. The next time we met up at university, we kissed again, and soon we were meeting at my house when my husband was away on business.

Joe thought I was sexy whereas it felt like my husband barely looked up when I walked into a room. I thought the reason for my infidelity was justified – that is until nine months later when, suspicious of all the late nights, my husband confronted me.

Hearing the hurt in his voice, I suddenly realised what a huge mistake I’d made. It wasn’t sneaky rendezvous and compliments that made a relationship meaningful. It was loyalty, trust and support. Immediately, I knew that what I’d had with Joe could never compete with the bond I shared with my husband. I begged for forgiveness, but it was no use. Our relationship was beyond repair.

Since our divorce, I’ve met someone new and I gave birth to our son, Leo, in October 2014. Sadly, our relationship didn’t last.

Now I know that the simple things – like cooking a meal together, or watching a film on the sofa – aren’t signs that a relationship is boring. They’re the things that show you’re building a happy, comfortable life together. ✱ Goodbye Mr Ex: A Woman’s Guide To Moving On

marina’s book is out now. (Panoma Press, £12.99)