It happened to me
The doctor’s words made Annie Belasco realise that falling in love was her priority…
Battling cancer… but I vowed to find love
How did you meet your other half? Perhaps it was at work? or maybe on a crowded dance floor? well, the story of how I found my husband is rather different. when we met, I was lying in bed, recovering from my latest round of chemotherapy…
It was July 2009 when I found a lump in my right breast. I wasn’t concerned. at just 25 yearsold, I was working hard in recruitment and partying even harder at the weekends. other people got sick – not me.
I went to hospital, where I was given a biopsy, but I was so relaxed that when I returned for the results two weeks later I didn’t even bring my mum with me for support. Only then, the consultant began to speak. ‘You’ve got aggressive breast cancer,’ he said. Fighting the urge to be sick, I suddenly felt so afraid.
I listened, my whole body shaking, as the consultant explained that I’d need a mastectomy, before the strongest available course of chemotherapy. At this stage, I learned I had just a 30% chance of survival. ‘Do you have a husband you’d like us to call?’ he finished.
It might sound strange but, despite the devastating diagnosis, it was those words that hurt the most. No, I didn’t have a husband, I didn’t even have a boyfriend. I couldn’t help but think – if the worst happened – I’d have missed out on falling in love. And, in that moment, I made a decision. I wasn’t going to die without meeting the man of my dreams.
The weeks that followed were a blur of appointments and trips to the hospital. I was too busy being prodded and poked to go out on dates. I had a mastectomy in August 2009 before starting chemotherapy one month later.
I’d prepared myself to feel unwell, but the side affects were worse than I’d imagined. I tried to live a normal life – I still went to work but, exhausted, I was being sick at least 20 times a day and steroids meant I began to put on weight. With no energy, I struggled to look after myself, and moved back in with my mum.
I knew I needed something positive to focus on – that’s when I remembered my plan to find love. Setting up an online profile, I didn’t write about my health issues. I knew my body had changed, but I chose pictures of myself with glowing skin and a huge smile.
It was three months later when, scanning through profiles, I came across Sam, a saddler. Living in the countryside, with a love of horses, he was the opposite to my city-living party girl. But something about his bright blue eyes drew me to him.
So I sent Sam a message, and we soon began exchanging long emails. He told me all about his time in the military, and made me laugh with his silly jokes. I’ll admit, I felt guilty about not revealing the truth about my cancer diagnosis, but talking to Sam made me feel like my old self – not the girl with cancer.
It sounds like the stuff of fairytales but somehow I knew it even before we’d met – Sam was the one. I was desperate to go
‘I’d have missed out on falling In love’
on a date with him. But I was at work one afternoon when I began twirling my hair between my fingers. When the first clump fell out, I felt my cheeks flush red with embarrassment. Rushing home, I knew there was only one thing left to do – I had to shave it all off.
Afterwards, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Now, not only did I feel ill, but I looked ill too. Staring at my uneven chest, bloated face and bald head, I felt so ugly. How would Sam ever find me attractive now?
So I refused Sam’s requests to meet in person – saying I had to work late or was seeing friends. That is until January 2010 when, after four months of chemotherapy, I had my final session. Feeling confident for the first time in months, that night, I emailed Sam. ‘Let’s meet tomorrow.’
I was so excited but, as I got ready for our date, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Would Sam notice I was wearing a wig? Would he spot that I’d put on an extra layer of foundation to hide my pale skin? And, battling sickness and fatigue, would I even make it through the evening?
And yet, when I locked eyes with him at the park where we’d agreed to meet, all my fears melted away. His blue eyes were even more beautiful in person, and I felt so comfortable in his company.
Suddenly, keeping my secret felt so cruel. So I revealed the truth. ‘I’ve got breast cancer,’ I blurted out. For a second, there was silence. Was he going to be angry? Walk away and never come back? Only then, holding my hand, he began asking me questions. He wanted to know if I was OK, if there was anything he could do to help. In that moment, I knew I really had found someone special.
From that day on, Sam and I were a couple. While my chemotherapy was over, I still had to go to hospital once a week to be injected with a cancer-fighting drug and Sam came with me. He hated seeing me in pain and even fainted as he watched a nurse insert a needle into my chest, but having him with me made it that bit easier.
And while I was self-conscious about the way I looked, Sam told me I was sexy. My mastectomy scars weren’t completely healed, but he didn’t care. And, when I told him I was wearing a wig, he gently admitted that he already knew.
A year later, in March 2011, Sam and I moved in together, and that summer, after my weekly injections had finished, Sam proposed. We had a huge white wedding in October 2012, and, while I continued to have scans on my breasts every three months – we didn’t mention cancer at all.
We began trying for a baby straight away. In February 2014, our son Joseph was born. Then, in June 2014, at a routine scan, I was given the news I’d been waiting for. ‘Annie, you’re cancer free,’ said the consultant with a smile. The tears rolled down my cheeks as I fell into Sam’s arms.
Not so long ago, I’d sat in that exact same spot, and was told the news that would change my life forever. Now I was healthy, happy, and I had achieved my dream of falling in love. It’s been two years since I got the allclear. Sam and I are happier than ever, and we had a daughter, Rose Elizabeth, in October 2016. I’ve written a memoir about my journey and I’m looking for publishers.
Every day I’m with Sam I feel so lucky. Although my life didn’t go according to plan, it’s now better than I ever could have imagined.
‘would I even make It through the evening?’