Feeling so lonely
Recently I have started to feel very lonely. I’m in my midforties and I’ve had a few long-term relationships but have been hurt badly. I took a break from dating and tried again, but it’s bleak and very hard work. I have good friends who are divorced but I seem to be the only one who would like a relationship. I feel as though I have failed in some way, as I thought it was only older people who got lonely.
People of all ages and in all sorts of circumstances get lonely. The trick to being resilient and finding your way out of feeling hopeless is to recognise it’s not your fault. And that perhaps you need to rethink what you’re looking for and the way to get it. You can be lonely with a partner, and surrounded by friendship and joy without one. You say you have good friends – so concentrate on enjoying time with them. You can look for a partner in three ways. One is by asking friends if they know someone who might be suitable. Another is by finding new friends through special interest groups or holidays. The third is approaching a marriage agency, not a dating one, through the Association of British Introduction Agencies at abia.org.uk – they will be able to put you in touch with people who are looking for the same thing as you.