He won’t kiss me in public

Last year I got divorced and only recently felt ready to start dating again. a few weeks back, I went out with some friends and met a guy. He was very nice, we had a drink and the next day I met him for a coffee. we ended up kissing and he asked me to go to his place but I said no. afterwards, we went to the cinema, where he didn’t even hold my hand. He said that he doesn’t feel comfortable kissing or showing affection in public, and that’s why he wants me to go to his place – but I feel it’s too soon. It’s been some time since I dated so am I being unreasonable?

Suzie says:

He could simply be socially awkward – or be wanting to take things too quickly. But think on this. You barely know this man. If his intentions are sinister, then kissing once and backing off after serves two purposes. If you went to his house, he attacked you and you contacted the police, he could probably get them to find CCTV of you both kissing, backing up his claim it was consensual. Meanwhile it’s keeping you in a state of confusion, designed to spur you on to take that risk to follow up on what felt romantic. If you feel that he might just be shy, then invite him to meet you with friends, and afterwards ask them what they thought of him. Tell him you and your girlfriends talk about relationships, and they know perfectly well how far you’d go on an early date – not far. Keep all dates in the open, neither at his place nor yours, until you are sure. But my main advice is this – always listen to your instincts. Whether you know it or not, part of your mind has a good idea of the right choice. And your gut feeling, along with mine, is screaming, ‘RUN!’