She’s gossiping about their issues
my husband and I are attending marital therapy sessions at the moment and are doing very well. So I was more than a little put out to overhear a friend of a friend at a party casually talking about ‘the funny things’ her clients say. She’s apparently a counsellor. I was horrified and must have looked unnerved because she gaily explained that it was ok because it wasn’t violating confidentiality because we don’t know the people she was talking about. I would be mortified if I thought our therapist was discussing our problems, even if nobody could identify us – and, after all, you never know who might know who. am I being oversensitive or is she being unethical? and how do I make her stop?
Suzie says:
No, all therapists do not do this. I don’t talk about clients and their problems, and when asked by broadcast and print media about my job or the sort of people and issues I deal with, I’m always careful to make very general remarks about common troubles and universal anxieties. I’m sometimes asked what funny problems I’ve been told about and I always say there’s a good reason I’m called an agony aunt – most problems are agony and I’d never find them funny. It’s not just the names we keep confidential but a description or picture that might disclose a person’s identity. And when I do talk about issues it’s to help as many people as possible, or to a fellow therapist to help me do the best by my clients, not as party entertainment. This counsellor may not be identifying her clients directly but she’s undermining confidence in counsellors and counselling, and she’s made you worry, and that’s unforgivable and totally against the code of ethics we’re bound by. Tell your friend to pass on your disapproval. And contact bacp.co.uk for their advice. If she’s on their register, a formal complaint should be made.