‘We need to get real about the nitty-gritty of it’
running late to get my train to work, I jostled for space on the crowded platform. Boiling hot, despite the snowy day, I pulled off my long, woolly scarf and shrugged myself out of my coat. Cue a startled look from a young, besuited man next to me. ‘Aren’t you cold?’ he asked.
Fanning my beetroot red face with my newspaper, I replied, ‘No! I’m menopausal!’ The poor bloke practically recoiled. Anyone would’ve thought I’d just told him I had a contagious disease, not that I was going through a perfectly natural stage of my life. To be honest, being loud and proud about my haywire hormones isn’t usually my (sweaty) style, but something just clicked in my mind that morning. If a woman had told him she was pregnant, he wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. But being open about my hot flush threw him. Why? They’re both a natural part of life, after all. But menopause is still taboo.
A recent BBC survey described it as a ‘silent issue’ in the workplace, with 70% of respondents saying they didn’t tell their bosses they were having problems coping with symptoms like disturbed sleep, poor memory and anxiety. No wonder, really. It can be hard enough for women to prove themselves at work and command the same salary as men, never mind the added fear of being judged for brain fog. So I applaud celebrities like Meg Mathews and Loose Women presenter Andrea Mclean for telling it how it really is.
If there’s one woman who can make the menopause rock ’n’ roll, it’s Britpop queen and Noel Gallagher’s exwife Meg. She’s said that anxiety, triggered by the menopause, hit her ‘like a ton of bricks’, and her website gives alternatives to HRT, tackles challenges to self-esteem and looks at how to stay positive.
Meanwhile, Andrea has revealed that while she was interviewing people, sweat ran down her back, necessitating tissues in the ad breaks. Yep, I’ve been there too, Andrea. At a work event, I was discreetly trying to flap my top up and down to get some air to my clammy back. When I confided in a young female colleague, she winced and said ‘Ew!’
And I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve walked into a room at home and completely forgotten what I came in for – the so-called brain fog that comes with ‘the change’ (Urgh! That word!). So celebrities being real about the nitty-gritty of the menopause helps hugely to raise awareness. And I’m one of the lucky ones – some of my friends have confided that menopause has led them to suffer depression and anxiety.
I have become more of a worrier, though, especially about the kids – I didn’t factor in that I’d be menopausal with teenage offspring. Our hormone roller-coasters clash all the time.
Now, my friends and I are open with each other about our experiences and share tips on how to battle symptoms.
But it’s high time our society generally was more open about the menopause.
‘Menopause is a natural part of life’