he knows how to please me, but it hurts!
Q
My new partner’s very skilled at pleasuring me with his fingers. He’s also quite rough and the last few times we’ve been together, it hurt. But I always climax, and I love the pleasure. Should I ask him to stop?
Susan says: A
Pain is the body’s signal that something is wrong. and rough handling inside could well be damaging your delicate inner tissue – particularly your cervix, at the far end of your vagina. So yes, ask your partner to go more gently when he uses his fingers. But what if you find a more gentle touch means you don’t climax as easily? Given your new man is skilled, he probably has many other neat moves that he could use. So have fun experimenting to find just as good a climax but without the pain!
I fancy my boss Q
I’m attracted to my boss, and we work incredibly well together. I’m sure he’s unhappy in his marriage, and when his wife came to the office recently, it was clear they don’t get on. He and I are going to a work conference soon, staying in the same hotel. Should I make a move?
Susan says: A
Please don’t do this. You may be wrong in how you interpret your boss’s relationship with his wife. Perhaps they just had a bad day, or maybe the fact you fancy him means you’re seeing problems where there are none. Plus, making a move – whether it’s welcome or not – is likely to impact on your working relationship and could turn it bad. above all, do you really want someone who cheats on his wife? He’s highly likely to cheat on you too. Cool your attraction, and find a lover who’s as available as you are.
how do I refuse his fantasy threesome? Q
My husband has always had a fantasy of my making love to another woman. I’ve hated the idea, but didn’t dare stop him fantasising. Now I’ve met a new female friend, he’s really pushing me to arrange a threesome. I’m certain she’d run a mile, but he’ll get really angry if I don’t suggest it to her. What should I do?
Susan says: A
Two things worry me about this. First, that you’re even considering suggesting a threesome to a woman you know wouldn’t want anything to do with it. Because however much you desire someone sexually, if you know they’re not into it, you shouldn’t make an approach. Second, that you seem wary of – even frightened by – your husband. Please get support to explore your husband’s behaviour, and decide whether to stay in what sounds like a very troubled marriage.