relationship, family, medical and money problems solved

QMy mother-in-law lives the other end of the country from us and we’ve always seen her during the school holidays and at Christmas. Her birthday is early December and this year she’ll be 70. She’s organising a party, all the family will be there. But I really don’t want to make that awful drive twice in a month. My husband seems to think it’s a done deal, but I’ve suggested that maybe we can go up a day or so early for Christmas, take her out and treat her, having sent a card for the day itself. Is that so unreasonable?

Suzie says

AIt’s not unreasonable to want to avoid driving all that way twice in a month, let alone in winter and at one of the busiest times on the road. But wouldn’t it be better to have a discussion about priorities and choice? Why not ask your mother-in-law which she’d prefer, if it has to be a choice – to see you and her grandchildren at Christmas or on this special birthday, with all her family around her? How do the kids feel about such a trek? What about advance train tickets? Or maybe this is the year to have Christmas at home, having driven all that distance earlier.