Real Life We found our happily ever after, following a break-up
Break-ups normally spell heartbreak, but these three women explain how they made positive life changes in the wake of a split
‘I wasn’t going to stop doing the thing I loved’ ‘I got the solo travel bug’
Deborah Ives, 58, lives in London and is a freelance marketer and travel blogger.
When a marriage ends, you go through a stage of bereavement – at least that’s the way it was for me when, in 2008, after 17 years together, my husband and i split. it was all very sudden. Just the week before, we’d been planning the trip of a lifetime to Borneo.
i thought i’d never get over it. We didn’t have children, and i had to get used to spending more time on my own. it took eight painful months, but slowly i realised i needed to take responsibility for my own happiness.
i decided to take our trip and, a year later, i checked into heathrow Terminal 3, excited but nervous about spending two weeks in a foreign country alone. But the truth is, i was far from alone. in the jungles of Borneo, i found myself face-to-face with elephants, toucans and orang-utans. From there, i spent an amazing week scuba diving among barracudas, turtles and reef sharks. of course i met plenty of fascinating people too, including gap-year students, adventure junkies and, yes inevitably, a couple of honeymooners. But their love story was incredible – they told me they had reunited after a 20-year split. it showed me there can be happiness after divorce. By the end of that fortnight i’d never felt so confident.
my time in Borneo gave me the solo travel bug and i have been doing it ever since. my travels have taken me all around the world.
i also love helping other women who may be travelling alone for the first time later in life, which is why i started Solo in Style, a community of over-50s women.
i still look back on my trip to Borneo and smile. i’m so pleased i found the courage to do it.