‘i’m happier than i have ever been’
Jane Pangbourne, 51, lives in market Harborough, Leicestershire, with her husband, Roger, 52.
I was in my late 40s when I suddenly realised I wasn’t happy. I spent most of my life in the training and development sector, supporting everyone from ex-offenders to the long-term unemployed. I’d even set up a business, which meant I was my own boss. and while I thought I’d be able to tailor the hours to my own schedule, I actually ended up working harder than ever.
But that wasn’t all. I’d spent years worrying about my appearance, constantly on a diet. my mum warned me after the birth of my two children that if I didn’t shed the baby weight I’d always be unhappy with myself.
From that moment, I picked an arbitrary figure (10st) and if the scales tipped much past it, I’d panic, starving myself for the next week in a desperate bid to lose a few pounds. as I got older, other parts of my appearance started to niggle at me, too. I cut my hair short despite being desperate to grow it past my shoulders. a woman of my age with long hair? Surely I’d look like mutton dressed as lamb, I told myself firmly. I didn’t want to stand out and I certainly didn’t want people to think badly of me.
time for a change
with each new worry, I could feel my stress levels rising. But it was as I neared my 50th birthday that I decided to make a change. I quit my job and decided to take some time out to figure out what I wanted.
I’d always been passionate about fashion and clothes, and I decided to start out keeping things simple, becoming a personal stylist and selling one-off pieces to friends and family, turning the top floor of my home into
‘i didn’t Want to stand out’
a dressing room and office. I wasn’t making much money, but I was making more female friends.
only, as I got chatting with these women about what kind of look they wanted, I was shocked at how negative they were about themselves. ‘I can’t wear a skirt, I look fat in skirts,’ one said. or, ‘I can only wear black, I’m not confident enough for bright colours.’ It struck me these women were overwhelmed. They’d spent years putting themselves down, because they
thought they didn’t fit society’s ideals.
new attitude
The same was true for myself. I’d tried so hard to fade into the background with my sensible haircut and plain clothes that I was becoming invisible.
why shouldn’t I grow my hair, or wear a tight skirt, just because of my age? If that’s what I wanted to do then I didn’t need to care what anyone else thought of me. From then on, I vowed to change my attitude. Yes, I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone, but I felt my confidence soar. I looked good, so I felt good.
and that’s what gave me the idea of developing my fashion business to give support and coaching to women of all ages – by going through their wardrobes and helping them find their confidence again. I don’t pretend to be a counsellor, but by talking to these women about their insecurities, and helping them see how unfounded they are, it’s made me realise being content is a completely different concept to ‘fitting in’.
now I weigh more than I ever have and my hair is long, too. But ask me if I’m happy and I’ll tell you that, since turning 50, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.