the picture that means so much
Sarah Cooke doesn’t regret sharing her labour with the world
Like most mothers, when I look back at pictures of myself just moments after giving birth, I feel an overwhelming sense of pride. There’s a mix of awe, admiration and love in my eyes as I see my son Leo for the first time. But his birth isn’t just one of the most memorable moments of my life, it’s also something that I hope will help women in the future.
Pregnancy and childbirth have always fascinated me. When I left school at 18, I had one career in mind and that was to become a midwife. I completed a threeyear degree in midwifery, and in 2005 I qualified. With each baby that I helped deliver, my craving to have a child of my own only grew stronger.
Only, due to a gynaecological problem, I knew I’d never be able to give birth naturally. It was upsetting at first, but it was something I couldn’t change and so I grew to accept it.
The best birth option
In 2012, aged 28, I met Chris, 32. Early into our relationship the subject of children came up, and I was honest with Chris about the problems I might face, but Chris was supportive, stuck by me, and in March 2014 we got engaged.
While we made plans for our wedding and set a date for June 2015, Chris and I decided we didn’t want to put our plans to start a family on hold in the interim.
We started trying and, in April, I took a test to see if I was pregnant. The day I got a positive result was incredible. Snapping a picture of the positive test, I excitedly messaged Chris at work. ‘I don’t believe you!’ he replied. Just to be sure, I bought another pregnancy test – and sure enough that was positive too.
That night, we couldn’t stop talking about baby names and imagining what our baby would look like. What we didn’t discuss was how I’d actually deliver the baby, but in that moment, we just wanted to enjoy the excitement, not worry about what was to come.
Thankfully, scans showed our baby was healthy. I met a consultant I knew and had worked with at my 20-week scan, who suggested that a Caesarean would be the best option for me.
But soon after, my manager at work approached me after a medical conference. She’d been doing some research into natural Caesareans – something I’d never heard of before. She explained the procedure – surgeons make a small incision in the abdomen, just along your bikini line, and then ease the baby’s head out. After that, the baby is left to slowly push its shoulders and body free on its own. The baby is then lifted out and placed on the mother’s chest. It seemed like a slower, much calmer entry into the world with little pressure on my body. ‘This way, the baby delivers itself at its own pace,’ my manager explained.
Intrigued, I went home and did my own research and discovered that most natural Caesareans take just a few minutes. Chris was happy to support whatever I decided, so nearer my due date I spoke to my doctor about arranging a natural Caesarean. He explained there were no more risks than with a normal Caeasarean.
The appointment was booked in for 6 January 2015, and on that day, I woke up at my parents’ house, feeling a mixture of excitement and nerves. While I couldn’t wait to meet our baby, I was worried about how the delivery would go. Would the
‘The baby comes at its own pace’
baby be OK? What if there were complications? Suddenly, it didn’t matter how many babies I’d delivered in my career or how experienced I was, this birth was unique – I was going to be a mum.
Delivery day
I wanted to be able to relive every second of the birth, so I asked a nurse to film it on my ipad. Chris stroked my hair as I was given local anaesthetic, and just a few minutes later, I watched as a surgeon made a small incision in my abdomen. By now I felt surprisingly calm and, when, just a few moments later, I saw the baby’s head emerge, I was transfixed. I couldn’t take my eyes away as my baby slowly began to emerge, guided out gradually by the surgeon. From being wheeled down to surgery, to my boy being cleaned up, it took only an hour.
Leo weighed a healthy 7lb 6oz, his umbilical cord was cut by a surgeon, and then he was placed in my arms. He was perfect in every way. I remember taking in every detail of his face – the little wrinkles on his toes, his grey-blue eyes and soft, dark hair. I didn’t pay any attention to the nurse holding up an ipad to film everything. In that moment, it was just Leo, Chris and I.
After one night in hospital we were both discharged, and a few days later, when Leo was asleep, Chris and I watched the video of his birth. I was so amazed – not just that Chris and I had created this perfect little boy, but at what my body – and Leo’s – had been able to do. Some of our family in America wanted to watch it, but the file was too big to email. So, I decided to upload the video to Youtube so that everyone could see it – except I forgot that my profile was public, and the film soon went viral.
Within 18 months of the video being posted online, thousands of people all over the world had watched it and reposted it, with some news sites picking it up. At first I wasn’t sure how I felt about having strangers watch such a personal moment, but when I began receiving messages of support from women saying I’d given them the courage to try a natural Caesarean, I knew it could only be a good thing.
An inspiration
The video of Leo’s birth has had more than two million views on Youtube now. Of course there have been a few negative comments, but the positive response has been incredible. In August 2017 I gave birth to Leo’s brother, Evan, by natural Caesarean, too. Their unique births are moments that will be treasured forever.
‘i forgot my profile was public’