Real Life Rory Kinnear: ‘My sister’s life was not disposable’

My sister Karina died at the age of 48. She tested positive for coronavirus early on 6 May and it quickly attacked her stomach, her lungs and her kidneys. When she was admitted to hospital, the carbon dioxide levels in her blood soon began to rise, a worrying sign.

On 9 May we all Facetimed her to tell her how much she meant to us, and tried to raise one more of her life-affirming laughs, desperately scanning the screen for any sign of responsiveness, any sign of hope. By then, however, we knew that she was only being kept alive in hospital by her BIPAP (bilevel positive airway pressure) machine, and on Sunday 10 May, we were, with great kindness and tact, told we should say our final virtual goodbyes.

Heroic and inspiring

A nurse, Patricia, held up Karina’s ipad, while my mum, via Facetime on her mobile, narrated a favourite story of hers for the last time and thanked her for the happiness she had brought us all. Mum then held up her home phone to her mobile, where my other sister, Kirsty, at hers, was able to say how much she loved Karina and would miss her. And then Kirsty held up her husband’s phone to hers where I, on loudspeaker, from my house, played Karina one of her favourite songs and told her how proud I was to have been her brother and what gratitude I felt for what she had taught me about life.

We had wanted to be with her together as a family and, under lockdown conditions – and knowing my mother’s strengths lie in areas other than navigating Zoom – it was as good as we could have hoped.

Karina’s death is what we have feared ever since the disease took hold so rapaciously in Italy in February. Her lung capacity was so diminished that we knew, given the reports of its effects, that it was likely to prove incredibly dangerous for her. Her conditions weren’t just ‘underlying’, they were life-defining, for her and for us, even if she remained unaware of their severity. But Karina had defied predictions her entire life.

She had suffered a lack of oxygen at birth that caused severe brain damage, had been left paralysed from the waist down after a life-saving operation on her spine aged 19, had been intubated and suffered kidney damage six years ago with sepsis – the last time we said our goodbyes to her – and was in hospital with chest infections regularly throughout her life. And yet, every time, when you thought she couldn’t take any more, she defied us.

Along with my mother’s ferocious determination to keep her alive, Karina defied medicine, she defied doctors, she defied prognoses, she defied the capacity

‘SHE HAD A DAREDEVIL’S SPIRIT’