Real Life What lockdown has given us
What may once have been a passing hello or a hurried chat over the garden fence has since formed into something much more enduring for many neighbours during the COVID-19 lockdown
Lisa Robson, 49, lives in Milton Keynes with her 13-year-old son.
I’ve lived in my house for 15 years and always enjoyed a friendly chat with my neighbours, so in September 2019, when I spotted a woman and her two children had moved in to the house next door, I made a point of introducing myself. Rachael, 52, seemed lovely. ‘We must do wine one day soon,’ I said to her after a brief chat over the garden fence. Only, running my own business – a bespoke memorial service – and looking after my son, our planned wine date quickly made its way down my list of priorities. But then, in March 2020, the COVID-19 situation escalated. And just as things started to slow down for many people, I found I was getting more enquiries about my services.
So as well as homeschooling my son, the garden became my little sanctuary, and I found myself often chatting to Rachael over the garden fence. ‘I’ve just been shopping, there’s nothing on the shelves,’ I groaned to her one night as I caught her going into her own home while I unloaded my bags from the car. ‘I couldn’t get any toilet paper when I went yesterday, either,’ she sighed.
Once I’d put my shopping away, we chatted in the back garden, cautiously standing some distance apart, with the garden fence between us, and our chat soon turned to other parts of our lives.
We spoke about everything from ex-boyfriends to being mums and launching our own businesses.
‘I can’t believe how much we have in common,’ I smiled, and realised we’d been stood there for hours.
Birthday cheer
‘WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON’
Confined to our homes in the following weeks, we’d chat whenever we were out in our gardens, and when Rachael mentioned it was her daughter’s 21st birthday at the end of March, I had an idea. Grabbing a spare toilet roll (people had stopped stockpiling!) I found a candle to stick in the top, and the next day I knocked round and sang happy birthday to her daughter – standing a good two metres away.
While it wasn’t the safest of ideas – loo roll with a candle – both thought it was hilarious and it brightened their day. After that, we became much closer, enjoying a glass of fizz for the VE Day anniversary celebrations.
Not long after, I became unwell, and although I don’t know if I had COVID-19, I had to self-isolate. Rachael was a true friend, doing my shopping and leaving the bags on my doorstep. For now, we’re enjoying our regular drink dates in our respective gardens, but we both can’t wait to head down to our local pub for a night out.
Psychologist Emma Kenny says:
Fifty years ago, your neighbours were likely to form a part of your social circle, whereas today, more often than not, we simply don’t connect with our nextdoor neighbours at all.
Lockdown has presented us with an unusual combination of experiences: firstly, we haven't been unable to see our friends and family; secondly, we’ve been at home for much longer periods of time than usual, meaning that we have contact with our neighbours more often. Also, rituals such as clapping for the NHS and celebrating a socially distanced VE Day anniversary have made neighbours a far bigger and more familiar part of our lives.