View From The Back

A book getting youngsters talking might have a point about success with men and at work

A19-year-old relationship guidebook that urges women to be ‘bitches’ has become a bestseller, after going viral among young women on the social media app Tiktok. Why Men Love Bitches advises women to transform themselves ‘from doormat to dream girl’. Teens and 20-somethings are lapping up the advice, posting their favourite tips from author Sherry Argov online. Surely, four decades after Joan Collins starred in the film The Bitch, and four years after the Me Too movement shone a light on the demeaning of women in the workplace, there’s no room for such hackneyed old advice… Or is there?

Survey after survey shows British women lack self-esteem in relationships and at work. That means we are not living the life we would like. Our lack of confidence is holding us back. And while the book is aimed at securing a fella, there are tips that translate into the wider world. Argov recommends refusing to do everything for your partner. If you don’t want to end up always doing his ironing, lay ground rules from the start. That relates to being a mum, too.

She also says being able to tease your man and banter with him shows your partner you can hold your own and are selfconfident. That definitely translates to the workplace.

Argov argues, ‘The woman I’m describing is kind yet strong. She doesn’t give up on her life and she won’t chase a man.’ I’ve long believed the best way to make a man or a prospective employer really like you is to make them think you don’t need them. If you believe in your own independence, you ooze an attractive self-confidence. And if that means risking coming across as a bitch, it might just be worth it.