Blooming brilliant!
He might be gorgeous to look at, but Orlando Bloom isn’t filling anyone with confidence that he’s the easiest person to live with…
After reading actor Orlando Bloom’s description of his average day, my heart goes out to his fiancée. Poor Katy Perry. The Pirates of the Caribbean star might be eye-wateringly gorgeous, but he comes across as walking plankton. Orlando starts his day by checking his smart ring. This isn’t a ring to check how smart you are, although with Bloom I do wonder. It’s a teeny smartphone for your finger. He says, ‘I look at the app to see if I have had a good sleep.’ A good sleep? The man has a baby. Nobody with a sevenmonth-old sleeps well!
He bounds out of bed, leaving Katy to ‘have a lie-in’. Katy’s possibly been up all night nursing baby Daisy. She’s probably face down in her pillow with sore boobs. That doesn’t qualify as a ‘lie-in’.
Orlando ‘stares’ at his daughter, then meditates for 20 mins. Next he takes ‘brain octaine oil’ before a hike. Not something they stock at Tesco.
Breakfast is ‘plant based’ for reasons that should ring alarm bells with Katy. Bloom says, ‘I sometimes look at a cow and think, “that’s the most beautiful thing ever.”’ Right. The couple have a team of people to cook for them; that’s good because Orlando’s busy, busy. He flicks through scripts, but also, ‘During COVID I started building Lego… creating this little thing makes me feel I’m achieving something else.’
Katy, love, this is not good. Also, if this is what happens to an Englishman who lives in Montecito, California,
I think we can give up on Orlando’s neighbour, Prince Harry.