Real Life The picture that means so much
Donna Allen came so close to death, she’s determined to make every moment count
There is no greater love than that of a mother for her child, and when I look at my sons, Freddie, now eight, and Jackson, six, I feel so proud that I’m their mum. I cherish making memories with them and I never take for granted the time I spend with them, because there was a time I came close to never seeing my children grow up.
I fell pregnant with Jackson when Freddie was just one, and I knew six months in that things were different. I felt so breathless all the time and though my midwife said it was common during pregnancy as the baby grows, I wasn’t convinced. My pregnancy with Freddie had been so smooth, and I worried my body wasn’t coping as well. Still, I tried to remain positive and I even booked a pregnancy massage to help me relax.
But during the session, I felt as though I was suffocating. Midwives suggested that, because my bump was quite high up, my baby may have been pressing on my lungs – leaving me breathless.
At 38 weeks pregnant, in July 2014, I had Jackson by emergency caesarean. He weighed 8lb 15oz but thankfully, he was perfectly healthy, and as he was placed in my arms I felt so relieved he was here and safe. But while Jackson was well, I developed an infection from the surgery and had to stay in hospital. My legs were swollen, too, and doctors were concerned I had a blood clot.
As Jackson went home with his dad to meet Freddie for the first time, I desperately wanted to be with them – I was missing out on such a precious moment.
While doctors tried to figure out what was wrong, I grew weaker and sicker, and after six days, my body began to shut down. It was later I discovered I was going into renal failure, and my heart had stopped working properly.
Just in time
I had an ECG and an echocardiogram scan, and was finally diagnosed with peripartum cardiomyopathy (PPCM) –a rare heart condition triggered by pregnancy, which doctors said had an unknown cause. My left ventricle, the bottom chamber of my heart, was enlarged, stretching the muscle wall and weakening my heart’s ability to pump blood around my body. It was just flowing to my legs, and sitting there.
Doctors put me on the right medication, and thankfully I started to recover. Had they not found what the problem was, when they did, it may have been too late and I could have died from heart failure.
When, after a week in hospital, I got to go home, I was desperate to cuddle my sons. Jackson was tiny and I’d worried being apart for so long would affect our bond, but he seemed so content in my arms. I knew then just how precious life is and how things can change in an instant.
It took six months of medication and MRI scans for doctors to feel happy that my heart was functioning normally. But I still get breathless easily and doctors still have no idea what triggered my PPCM. As a result, I’ve decided not to have any more children – I can’t put my life at risk.
That’s why making memories means so much to me now, whether it’s just watching TV with my sons or going for a walk with them, every moment is special. Pictures like this one, of me and Jackson, taken at his football camp – seemingly insignificant at first glance – is, to me, a reminder of just how lucky I am to be here.
✱ For more advice and information about the signs and symptoms to look for, and what is ‘normal’ and what is not during and after pregnancy, visit cardiomyopathy.org/beatingfortwo
‘THINGS CAN CHANGE IN AN INSTANT’