Don’t Tell Me I Can’t…
Age is no barrier when it comes to Jacqui Baker’s quest for The One
…look for love in my 50s
Sitting among a group of charming and chatty singletons, I feel an excitement I haven’t experienced in decades. As part of my new dating agency, I’m hosting a singles night and all the bachelors and bachelorettes seem to be mingling well and enjoying themselves. But this isn’t an event for young singletons, as you might assume, this event is exclusively for the over-50s, because I truly believe our quest for love shouldn’t have a deadline. Even at 56, I’m still searching for The One and I know they’re out there somewhere.
I haven’t always been single. I’d been married for 15 years before splitting with my husband in 2009. We’d had three children together, then 14, nine and seven, but things just hadn’t worked out between us.
After spending the next few years single, juggling a college course while looking after the kids, in 2011, I met someone I really liked. So much so, I decided to move from my home in Northern Ireland to Southampton, to be with him, while my older kids stayed with their dad. My youngest was then nine and she settled well into our new home and school. And though my relationship was good for a number of years, by 2018, when I was 53, it had run its course.
Finding myself single in my 50s was terrifying. The world of dating had changed so much since I was last single, with other single friends telling me
I needed to join a series of dating apps. I wanted to meet someone, so I created a profile.
I’d like someone young at heart who’s easy going and enjoys life, I wrote. In a few days, I matched with a few people and exchanged messages. But I found online dating consuming and unpredictable – often, when I met up with suitors they looked nothing like their pictures and some even lied about their age. I began to reason that dating apps just weren’t for me, and I wondered how many people, like me, felt the same way. I longed for old-school dating, where you’d meet people at events or while out with friends.
So, in early 2019, I started organising a few events for single people in their 50s and 60s, advertising them on social media and through friends. Cheese and wine nights, day trips to galleries and boat trips – they became such a huge success I decided to set up Select Connections, a bespoke dating agency for over 50s.
I built my own website and word spread at my singles events. Most of the singletons who joined were looking for a companion more than anything – someone to share the finer things in life
– just like I was. Though most of my energy was devoted to my new business, organising events and matching my clients with suitors,
I was still on the lookout for love myself and went on a few dates, though nothing led to anything serious.
When lockdown hit last year, I started hosting Zoom dinner parties and cookery classes for my singletons. I’m still very much on my quest for love. My daughter, now 15, tells me I’m far too fussy, but I’m proud of that, because why should I settle for less than perfect?
✱ selectconnections.com
‘SOME EVEN LIED ABOUT THEIR AGE’