SHOULD I TELL THEM THE TRUTH?

QI have very little to do with my parents, and none whatsoever to do with my brother. He sexually abused me when I was younger and my parents didn’t do anything to protect me. My daughter has a new boyfriend with the same name as my brother, and I can’t help but wince every time he’s mentioned. I’ve never told our children about all this.

Suzie says

AYou’re right not to overburden your children with your issues, but a discussion about family trauma and names may be necessary. They might have wondered why their grandparents were not more present in their lives, and need to know that it wasn’t because they were rejected. Bringing it out into the open may allow you to desensitise the name – there will be plenty of nice people with it!