To holiday or not to holiday?

The ever-changing guidance around travelling abroad is enough to send us all packing!

Anyone else completely baffled about foreign travel following the barrage of misinformation coming from the Government? It’s enough to make you need a holiday, when you might hear this:

‘Welcome aboard British Hairways, flight 666 to Ibiza, this is your captain Boris Johnson speaking. We apologise for the delays to take-off – it has taken

97 hours to board passengers because of lateral-flow testing and COVID passport checks in the departure lounge. Sorry if you had to mingle with green- and red-list travellers in the airport, not much we can do about that I’m afraid.

‘We hope you read the clear-ascrystal Government guidance before boarding this flight. Just to remind you, you are safe to travel to Spain because it’s an amber country. BUT only if you are seeing family and friends. Actually, scrub that, only if you are seeing family. Er… if you are seeing family or have a pressing business engagement. No, actually, you shouldn’t be travelling to amber countries at all. Ah, no, hang on – it’s OK if it’s essential travel. Not entirely sure what “essential” means, though.

‘We apologise to those of you who are only on board because your tour operator refused to give you a refund for the holiday you originally booked in 2020. That’s become a bit of a thing, I’m afraid.

‘You might be interested to know the Balearic Islands are offering holidaymakers free insurance for coronavirus, covering you for treatment, extension of your stay and up to 15,000 euros for repatriation in the event of death. So at least you won’t have to pay for the flight home.

‘So, fasten your seatbelts, put your tray tables up. We have been cleared for take-off from runway three… or is it five??’