I’m considering having an affair

QI think I’m fairly happy with my partner. But lately I’ve been seriously thinking about playing away. There’s a lovely man at the gym; an old school friend is hanging around; and my new job, though stressful, is full of flirty colleagues. It’s so tempting – I even ended up snogging the old friend! But I’m in a relationship and know I shouldn’t even be considering an affair. What’s going on? And what should I do?

SUSAN SAYS

ABeing tempted to stray almost always means something’s wrong somewhere. The classic cause is relationship difficulties – perhaps your ‘fairly happy’ relationship isn’t happy enough. But general life difficulties too can be the problem, making you feel unfulfilled and in need of a confidence boost – so perhaps your new job is too ‘stressful’ for comfort. Face your issues, get professional help from a relationship or careers counsellor, and your desire for a fling will likely fade.