The experts
My husband has a ‘dirty’ secret!
Q I’m feeling so betrayed right now. My husband of 30 years has been promoted – and now lockdown is over, he’s travelling around the country visiting different branches of his firm. But yesterday I mistakenly accessed his mobile statement instead of mine and realised he uses sex chat lines when away. He’s admitted it and says he’s deeply sorry – and up to now we’ve been happy together. But how can I stay with him after this?
SUSAN SAYS
A I absolutely understand your shock. But there are reasons to try and turn things around again. First, you’ve been together for three decades. Second, until now you’ve been happy together. Third, your husband didn’t lie when you challenged him – in fact, using his own phone may well mean he wanted you to discover and challenge his bad behaviour! Please get counselling to help. Try contacting relate.org.uk – they will help you to understand what’s happening and regain the trust you had until now.
I have fallen out with our neighbours
Q Our new neighbours leave their car on the road, opposite our gate instead of on their own drive. We aren’t blocked but it makes the turn more difficult. I very politely asked them to move their vehicle and the man was apologetic but the woman hasn’t spoken to me since. Should I play them at their own game? I don’t want to seem petty but I get so worked up about it. My husband doesn’t see my point.
SUZIE SAYS
A Whether we realise it or not, we’re just like other members of the animal kingdom in being very territorial. We feel threatened when a stranger comes onto “our” patch. This makes us feel scared and angry, which is why you feel so upset at what, on the surface, seems a slight offence. Tit for tat will get you nowhere. If they share your husband’s laid-back attitude they won’t notice and there will be conflict if they share yours. Your best bet is to face up to being a bit OTT in your feelings. Try chatting to them openly and you may find that if you make friends, their car parking won’t upset you because you won’t see them as threatening you.
Why can’t he manage to climax?
Q My man and I are very much in love and up until now our sex life has been great. Recently though, he’s having difficulty in climaxing quickly – he gets there in the end, but it takes ages. He says it’s fine, and his GP has confirmed there’s nothing wrong. And now I feel guilty. Nothing I can do has helped him get to climax – I’ve tried everything, all the tricks I know, and it still doesn’t happen. What’s wrong with him?
SUSAN SAYS
A Your man’s climax delay likely isn’t your fault. And, although sometimes illness, injury or medication causes the problem, he’s had a physical all-clear.
My best guess is that this is stress related. Is he over-busy at work? Are there family worries? Is your guilt adding pressure? Step back from anxious bedroom action and instead major on cuddles for a month or so. Once your man’s more relaxed, the problem will almost certainly resolve.
Why are Easter eggs still so eco-unfriendly?
Q I’m bracing myself for the onslaught of Easter eggs that are coming my kids’ way. I don’t mind the children over-indulging on chocolate for a few days, but what can I do with all the packaging afterwards?
RAE SAYS
A According to Google data, UK searches for the term plastic-free Easter egg quadrupled between March 2012 and March 2021. Over a similar period, many chocolate manufacturers have eliminated bits of plastic that were commonly found in Easter egg boxes, including the film across the front and the mould holding the egg in place. This makes recycling Easter egg packaging much easier than it used to be. If your local council collects cardboard in kerbside recycling, include the leftover boxes in your next pick up. With foil wrappers, scrunch them together until you have a tennis ball size lump then recycle alongside metal cans. The plastic that is left is likely to be mini egg or sweet bags, which you can now deposit at soft plastic recycling points in supermarkets including Sainsbury’s and the Co-op.
We’re seeking suitable pet treats
Q Can you suggest any ideas for Easter presents for my dog? My children want to treat her.
EMMA SAYS
AIt’s fun to involve your pet in the festivities at times like Easter, and my young children absolutely insist that our lab, Tess, gets a present, too! It’s best to stick to things designed specially for dogs. Tess loves soft toys, so it’s nice for her to have her own that she can keep without it being taken away. One that she really loves is a Zippypaws hide-and-seek toy. It comes with small soft toys that you can stuff into the main toy for the dog to pull out. Tess likes it when we hide the little ones around the house for her to find. Being a gundog Tess is very soft-mouthed and careful with her toys, but a real chewer might need something a bit more indestructible. Treats are always a winner, too, and the kids love the idea of Tess having her own ‘chocolate’ egg. You can buy special dog-friendly eggs made with carob instead of cocoa (cocoa is toxic to dogs, so never feed them chocolate meant for humans). We’re planning a doggy Easter egg hunt with them in the garden.