‘I’m 2st heavier, but my mum taught me how to be happy with who I am’
Jodi is a doll maker and lives with her partner David, 40, and children Hamilton, 13, Clarke, seven, and Shiloh, two, in south London. Squeezing into my jeans, I sighed as I looked down at my rolls of belly fat. My younger child had turned two, but I was still carrying my baby weight.
I wished I could call my mum Annette and hear her tell me I was beautiful, no matter what, but she passed away two years ago in April 2020, aged just 63, after a fatal reaction to kidney dialysis.
I became aware of my thicker thighs and naturally big bum at seven years old, when I started ballet classes. The teacher would tell me to tuck my bum in and I could see I was built differently to the other girls. I confided in Mum how embarrassed I felt.
Born in Jamaica and fiercely proud, she told me I was beautiful inside and out, and to be proud of my body.
I matured early, starting my periods aged eight, and by 16 I was a size 10 in a 36C bra. Boys at school would tease me about my big boobs, men heckled me in the street, and I hid my curves in tracksuits. In my 20s, I was a size 12-14 and worked out for 90 minutes a day, avoiding foods like rice and potatoes.
During my first pregnancy in 2008, with my ex-partner, I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum, causing me to vomit up to 60 times a day, and I was in and out of hospital receiving fluids intravenously.
I lost 2st, dropping from 11st to 9st during pregnancy, and was relieved when Hamilton arrived safely in January 2009. Even though I was at my lowest weight for years, my skin was loose and saggy and I felt unattractive. I returned to the gym and took up cycling when Hamilton was nine months old, and within six months my stomach was toned again. Hamilton’s dad and I split in 2012. A year later, I bumped into an old boyfriend, David, in the supermarket and we began dating.
Our daughter Clarke was born in June 2014 and it took two years to lose my mum tum, working out at the gym daily while she was in the crèche. Although curves are celebrated in our culture, I still wanted a flat stomach and for my love handles and back fat to be gone, even though David told me to stop putting pressure on myself.
My third child, Shiloh, was born in August 2019 and I still haven’t lost the 2½st I gained during that pregnancy. I’m so busy I’ve only just started back at the gym, and struggle to find time to train like I used to. I snack when they eat, then have a meal later with David, and have not got back into a healthy routine.
I try not to stress about my size 16-18 body and am comfortable being naked around David, who has always told me I’m beautiful.
Losing my mum taught me life is short, and to be enjoyed, and I want to be a good role model to my children, too.
The greatest lesson Mum taught me is not worrying about fitting in with an ideal, but being happy with who I am.