Help! It’s taking me ages to climax

Q Self-pleasuring is something I’ve loved since I was a teenager. I do it on my own, with my husband, and on Zoom together if he’s working away. But over the last year, I’ve found it more and more difficult to enjoy myself. It takes me longer to get aroused and a lot longer to climax. What’s happening? And how can I solve the problem and get back the pleasure I’ve enjoyed all these years?

SUSAN SAYS

A

Almost certainly, natural ageing and the menopause is what’s happening here. Hormonal changes may be lowering your desire, your lubrication levels and your sensitivity. So try using some extra lube, and get a gentle vibrator to add pressure and strength to what you’re doing. Experiment with different touches and pressure to find ones that better suit you. Above all, don’t panic – if you adjust to your body’s changes you’ll almost certainly get back to the pleasure you love.